Monday, December 27

MIXED FEELINGS

I'm quite distraught because one of my paternal uncles was rushed to the hospital due to gout. We've been through a lot, we've all been through emotional strain but all of it are slowly being healed, if possible nga, kalimutan na lang lahat. Besides, tumatanda na silang magkakapatid...buti nga si Daddy medyo nakalimutan na 'yung rift nila before. Anyway, it was sad lang dahil kaka-Pasko pa lang, he could spend the turn of the year sa hospital bed. I was touched too pag umiiyak sya either because of pain or when he makes kwento about how my Dad calls him and, knowing my Dad, di nauubusan ng stories yun, so ang sayasaya nya. Andun din yung ibang relatives namin na meron talagang misunderstanding between us pero, yun nga, nagbatian din naman, kahit hindi thoroughly nakapag-usap. It's sad to think na pag mga ganung instances lang nagkakaron ng chance to be together, tapos awkward moments pa. I hope everything will be okay soon. Hindi man perfect as there's no perfect life, pero yung worry-free lang.

On the other hand, I'm happy because I already have my Starbucks planner!!! Yipee!! I invited my Mom for coffee lang para isang sticker na lang ang kulang ko tomorrow. Ewan ko ba bakit naisip ko kumuha na ng 3 para makuha ko na yung planner. Yipee, almost heaven ang feeling, ang astig nung planner!! Parang ayoko sulatan, wahahaha!!! Basta it will reflect the kikay, disorganized and weird sides of me.

Medyo guilty din kasi on the steps of Starbucks in Manila Pavilion merong mag-ina na naka-upo doon. Kawawa. Guilt-trip talaga, isipin mo naghihirap silang ganun samantalang ako, bumili ng kape worth P350 para lang makakuha ng planner! Even if I tell myself na yung pinambili ko naman nun e pinagtrabahuhan ko, nakakaguilty pa rin talaga pag nakakakita ka ng ganoon. Tsk.

May feeling din na nasa limbo kasi may pasok na naman bukas. I should really be thankful at hello, wala akong karapatang magreklamo dahil maganda ang trabaho ko. Pero hindi ako excited pumasok bukas. Hindi ko alam kung anong motivation pa ang kailangan ko. I gave up on my hunch na baka kelangan ko magka-boyfriend para mainspire. (Hehe.) Walang connection ang boyfriend sa pagiging interesado sa trabaho. Ewan ko rin ha pero I gave up on the theory two weeks ago. Siguro lalo lang akong nawalan ng gana dahil sa glitch nung promotion. Tss.

Sunday, December 26

Judie and my wish list (not too late for one..calling my friends out there...)

The two albums I most want to have:


I know I am not known to like rock music but I loved Switchfoot since I heard Meant To Live. Dare You To Move is also gawd.


If I can find you now, things will get better...We can leave this town and run forever...

And three books I've been looking for but pfft (either I don't have enough money to afford it or there are no stocks):


Hay.


I once thought to give this as a Christmas gift for my bosses but decided not to. I don't wanna share it. Ayan tuloy wala akong makita.


I have been tagged "odd" by no less than the Consul General because of this choice (well, not really for this choice alone but this one alongside with Zsazsa Zaturnnah and Kiss My Tiara..which has the subtitle How to Rule the World as a Smartmouth Goddess).

And oh, Judie.

Judie is a pig. She is part of "and friends" of Hongkong's Pork Chop and Friends. These pigs are the ones you see in Humor Post. I used to pass by Judie even though not a few people commented that I should make Judie my fave character instead of Tigger, since, you know, her name is Judie and she's fat, and my name is Judith and I am..ehem. But I love Tigger so much already so I won't give him up. As you will notice, I've been signing my name in tagboards and guestbooks as "Judie Tigger" and not Juditigger...because yes, I looorve Judie the pig now. However, liking her will entail spending more because Judie stuff from Humor Post are darn expensive. Simple yet expensive. But heck, I love her now.





Yay.
So, how's your Christmas?

Mine's okay. It was different from all my past Christmases but it's still fun. We had too many people yesterday, err, until now, and it's such a happy sight seeing relatives chat about anything (plus they have gifts for me..harhar!).

It was different this year because I was ill. Last Friday night, after taking a bath, I noticed super red rashes all over my chest, neck and nape. And well, my face. I thought it was because of my loofah but hey, I don't scrub my face with my loofah so it's gotta be something else. Then they said it was German measles. The outbreak came 36 hours after I came from a whole night of fever, the first that I had it the longest, according to my Mom. Good thing I was strong enough not to be in bed so there was no need to go to the hospital. All I took were home medications and of course, isolation from the rest of the people in the house, visitors included. And they say it gets worse when you're hit by air (though it's impossible to not be hit by air, otherwise, how would I survive 'no?) so I'm on my second day now of just staying in the room, reading or watching, or yes, going online and funny that I don't feel dull at all (except for the heat). I got to say customary "Hellos" and "Merry christmases" to the visitors afterwhich I went back upstairs again, especially if there were kids. As of this moment, I still have traces of the rash in my chest, belly and left thigh but I'm thankful na rin that they subsided easily. I really need to go out soon because I still need 3 stickers for my Starbucks planner!

And oops, I have to confess that I did go out once yesterday. As in I sneaked out for a while and went outside because I need to buy a new internet card. That's two blocks of "getting hit by (polluted) air". Nothing happened naman, my condition didn't worsen. I dunno if nobody noticed me because of all the activity in the house or they just decided to forget about it because nothing bad happened (I think it's the former). I was just struck when I saw garbage men doing business as usual on Christmas. You know, yung mga tao ng Leonel Waste Management riding the blue garbage truck. It makes you realize na sobrang napakaswerte mo na at that day, you got to prepare food not just for your consumption, but for other people's, na madaming natitira dun sa mga food, then aside from that you get to exchange gifts..tapos yung mga taong yun, ayun, namumulot at nagso-sort ng basura. Kung pwede lang na lahat tayo pare-pareho na lang ng estado sa buhay. I mean, hindi naman yung equal sharing ng wealth or possession pero yung equal opportunity lang to have something on the table, to have something new to wear, or to be able to share. Ang possession naman is still a preference, pero it will be better kung walang ganung sight pag Pasko..grabe, nakakaiyak talaga!

And it may seem to be a lousy spinoff but I am planning to watch 4 movies of the Metro Manila Filmfest: Mano Po 3, Happy Together (like ko si Kris Aquino eh, mwehe!), Panaghoy sa Suba and Aishite Masu (in Korina Sanchez parlance, it's 'ayshite masoo' - hehe!). See, pwede naman palang gumawa ng matitinong movies eh. Sana tuloy tuloy na. A support base cannot be made easily, it should be built on trust and credibility. Minsan kasi they give up easily eh..yung ibang filmmakers. They get to produce good films na syempre sa start, it will not be supported, hindi kikita, kaya ayun, balik na naman sa mga walang kakwenta-kwentang mga productions, o di kaya ginagawa lang twice a year...pang-Manila Filmfest at eto nga pang-Metro Manila Filmfest. Since they gamble on making these films, I hope they would gamble more pa until maukilkil (hanep, lalim) sa perception ng moviegoers that movies like those are what we should support and we should not settle for so-so films. I believe it could work. So going back to my choices, I hope I get to watch the four soon.

Kayo naman, kwento kayo ng Christmas nyo.

Friday, December 24

I've been meaning to blog at length for the longest time but just can't. Two parties were over, I had my very first facial session, I bought a new less sleek digicam, I bought 4 more books, I finished my Christmas shopping (read: Tutuban and Divisoria) in the nick of time, I got sick, I got promoted (which I will get to blog about soon because I really feel indifferent), I finished my 48th book (I plan to make it a flat 50 before 2004 ends) and I have not blogged about them.

However, I will join the bandwagon and greet my blog visitors a sincere


Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas!!

These two words should say it all. May God bless you and your family.

P.S. Josh, if Ninang would be lucky, I will see you either the third week of January or the second week of February. That is, if Ninang got lucky. I may not hand over the robot that you want but..basta, I'll tell you about if and when I get lucky. All my love to you, your Mama, Papa, kuya Gab and Kuya Raf.

Tuesday, December 21

four days before christmas and i am not feeling well. i hate it when i can't speak, when there's like a cactus in my throat. i hate it when i can't smell anything because it follows that i cannot taste food, too. this is so much torture.

69 christmas cards. i've only filled out five. if it's any consolation, the envelopes have been written on so i won't confuse who to give the cards to. merry christmas.

Sunday, December 19

and time gets a little more...little?

i returned the "kewl" and "chic" panasonic digicam BUT i got a new one. half the price, less chic, but i am learning to be contented. and i am not really a photography freak with all the techie blahdiblahdiblah. i am a camwhore, yes, but simpler gadgets can accomodate that syndrome of mine. plus, money became more important, moreso this part of the year till the second quarter of next year, so there.

2 new books. 2 new vcds. 4 dvds to go tomorrow.

yes, i am going to confess. it terribly shows but let it come from me. YES. I AM A MAR ROXAS-KORINA SANCHEZ fan. they are kinda awkward to be "kilig icons" but i feel kilig when i see them or read things about them. when i was about 11, i had the same for richard gomez and dawn zulueta. huwaha. it fizzled, of course, because they broke up and married different people. this time, i won't let it happen to mar and korina. nyaha!!!! how creepy is that? and what if, say, they break up and korina ended up with....noynoy aquino? and mar ended up with...err...kris aquino? kinda awkward no? but hell, they are getting married. i just hope it's for keeps. coz if not, it will be my second failure. it will take anoher decade to find a good loveteam and i will be 32 by then so it will make it doubly dyahe.

i'm really weird.

Thursday, December 16

so many thoughts, so little time.

don't hold your breath, but it seems that it's goodbye-to-my-whim-called-digicam for me! yep. i dunno. i returned the digicam as pictured below. details when i have the time to post longer.

i've only been employed here for 1 year and 11 months and so far, this week and the next, and probably the next two, will be the busiest ever! as in! maybe that's why i snap so easily!

so many thoughts, so little time. hay naku.

Monday, December 13

Songs of the moment:

La La by Ashlee Simpson (masochista, I know)
I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin deGraw
Everythin' Changes by Keane

I calculated that they play as a set 5x in succession within a one-hour period. I am now on my 3rd hour. Wee.

Friday, December 10

first serving.

whew, our consular holiday party is over. more about it tomorrow. i am so tired tonight and tomorrow, we have to be in the office before 9 am for the credit union general assembly. hay.

belated happy birthday to my ate liza, whom i was so "comatose" to greet on her 25th year (yes, she probably stopped counting a gazillion years ago).

somebody explained to me the mechanics surrounding the credit cooperative lending system. kasi i complained why my dividend is so low, wala pang 100 pesos!! eh kasi pala i am not borrowing money from the union, ergo, i don't help in making it subsist. kasi di ba credit unions subsist through members loaning in/significant amount of money? so even if it was too late, i decided to join the bandwagon. tutal, mag-papasko naman, it won't hurt to have some money. kaso yun nga, wala rin...because...i bought this:

this is one of panasonic's d-snap digicams...it's actual model is SV-AS10. it's super slim. more importantly, it's not just a digicam and (short) video recorder, it's also an mp3 player!
i have not paid it in full. heck, i have not given my first payment! pero many people are saying it's a good deal. it's brand new and uhm..it has one minor glitch, not with the gadget itself...all of the components are in good working condition...basta meron sa periphery nya na nagulat ako. but this is the kind of prob that resourcefulness can resolve. i will share it soon if it's already pissing me off.
grabe, i'm so sleepy na. hope to post pics from the party tomorrow. by the way, do grab a copy of people asia's yearender issue. it will be available this monday.


Thursday, December 9

i've been so busy! brr, i'm supposed to like this passion but it tires me so much! nakakawindang ha! sorry to all those who texted/emailed but heard nothing from me. so sorry. i read--run my eyes through the words--pause and shrug...kasi wala akong naintindihan. bwahahaha!!

but i have so many good news....

pero post ko na lang after this hullabaloo is over. it will be over by saturday.

11 stickers to go and hello planner na ako...

i bought something pero di pa full payment kaya saka ko na lang i-sheshare, huwahaha...

next post na lang!

Sunday, December 5

sorry.

every saturday, after gilmore girls, i chat with patty, tammy and marie. sorry, no-show na naman ako!! allow me to explain, puhleez...after gilmore girls, somebody had to use the phone, mga 30 minutes lang daw (lang...hmm..), so i said, sige, i'll read muna. eh yun nga, di na ako nagising. as usual, no one bothered to wake me up. sori!!!

pressured.

grabe, everytime i bloghop, people are raving about their new starbucks planner or how many stickers to go na lang and they would have it na. napepressure ako!! hahaha!! inggiterang palaka. eh kasi...sa totoo lang, i would not feel this way if not for the barrista in starbucks rob. while waiting for my frappe, i was looking at the...coupon? basta yun..then he casually commented that many people actually claimed na their planners!! ipressure ba ako?? eh kasi naman ako lang bumubuno nung akin. there are times di na me nakakapag-coffee kasi late na ako umuuwi from work. di bale, 14 stickers na lang naman. kayang kaya ko na i-bribe sina joy, girl, eiselle, erwin, tita ditos, tita beth, noime, jacs, jen, karen to have coffee with me..o di ba...ilan na yun...10..eh ako pa...11...three stickers to go and hello planner na ako!!! ganyan ako ka-pathetic! hay.

tooth problem.

something's wrong with my bluetooth adaptor (adapter?). di ko alam what's wrong. basta it says it can't connect eh umiilaw ilaw naman yung gadget. nag-restart na ako ng fone, nag-restart ng PC...ganun pa rin. nung una it only says it exceeded the allowable bluetooth transmissions...bah..me limit ba yun?? i have a hunch pero i'm hoping hindi naman yun...eto kasi yun: i was on my reading time when somebody texted me, as in three yun in succession so di ko napigil to accept yung 1 bluetooth message from "Nokia 7650"...eh ayun...caribe.sis..tsk tsk...i actually didn't look around, baka makita ko sa isang sulok ng starbucks yung naka-grin na spawn of satan, nakatingin sa akin and has "gotcha!" written all over his/her face. alam nyo ako pag nagagalit di ba?? as in, if words could kill, i could annihilate a community in minutes. so ayun..i immediately deleted it, restarted my fone...and nothing went wrong naman eh. i was able to transfer images pa din for what? two weeks more? then eto na nga...simula lang kagabi. huhuhuhu. help naman o. i will try to transfer images to other capable phones tomorrow...if it works, it's maybe just my own adapter here at home. sana.

Saturday, December 4

so, whatchatink? i was not thinking straight when i chose the new colors.

eiselle...speak up! is this okay? huh? okay na? sagot ka please?? pwede na?

Friday, December 3

slow.

i cannot read 100 pages in an hour anymore. i hate it. i can do it even with interruptions like text and occasional bouts of daydreaming but now...hmph! to think that i'm into a chicklit!

guilty.

i do not earn that much but it's been my habit to plan ahead the things that i like to spend my money with, days before actually receiving the payslip. it works well, in some ways. sometimes, i plunge into this wishful thinking, listing down from memory the things i want to buy IF i have more than what i just receive (i guess we all have that phase, ayt?). then you're snapped back to reality, where there are kids barely having something to eat. i have that guilty feeling everyday. especially when my ride waits for the green light in the intersection of san andres and osmeƱa highway. tonight, as i was thinking and almost drooling over bags and shoes and books, i decided to give susan's pumpkin bread, which is supposed to be my pasalubong for mom, to the poor little kids singing christmas carols beside my window. sama ng ugali ko, man. i fret over not being able to buy stuff that i can do without while all the while, many people do not even have half of what i have (or at least expect every two weeks). salbahe. ano nga yun sa 7 deadly sins?

identity crisis.

speaking of susan's pumpkin bread, eiselle said that it's the bread with an identity crisis. kasi by its look and mere taste, di mo malaman kung banana cake o fruitcake. ewan!

change.

i will change the colors of my template for the billionth time. parang feel ko yung lighter colors. wala lang. violent reactions pag di nyo type ha?!

Thursday, December 2

while i'm typing this now, winds are howling like beasts outside. among all of the 2-story houses in our street, ours has the highest ceiling that's why we can really hear how ferocious the winds are (or is it the wind? so parang, the wind is howling like a beast? ewan.). hindi pa naman sound proof at shock proof ang windows namin, unlike "kris aquino's 51st floor condo unit". bwaha.

seriously, the events since monday kept me disheveled but apathetic. i am in denial. the tragedy that struck real, quezon is too close to home. for the longest time, Real remains quite unpopular among quezon province's towns. whenever i mention it, people would ask where it is. usually, the other part of quezon, the side near bicol, was what comes to mind first. it was sad to see that Real will be known and be put in the map because of the landslide tragedy. it's just so sad.

the ravaged town of Tignoan was where my mom grew up. fortunately, the now-known maragondon was where my lola chose to live until now (and even at the height of the storm refuses to go here in manila muna--pastar tlaga!! hehe!!), and it was the last place a vehicle can trek, and the rest would be a tedious walk for about 25 kilometers more, to reach Tignoan. my mom told me that landslides were commom occurrences there even before, the only difference was that a helluva more trees were still there, and that it was not a shocking case of super soil erosion. my mom is really affected because some of her friends, whom she has not seen for more than 2 decades, were being featured in the news, dead. i do not watch the news lately because i do not want to see what has happened in Tignoan. last i heard from my mom and uncle, the entire tignoan and its underlying barangays were wiped out, a lot of people were dead and still not found...i just can't bear to see it because it was not theplace i used to know. ganon siguro ako mag-cope sa devastation..by refusing to see what's happening.

more than four years ago, i went to Tignoan with my college friends for an anthropology project with the dumagats. Tignoan was already fluorishing then but still managed to keep the paradise-looking beaches and scenic views. that's how i would want to remember it na lang.

as of press time, my cousins in maragondon were texting me that many of the people they know (classmates, orgmates, acquaintances) wound up dead. but they were thankful, and so am i, because they were able to help those who have not been able to salvage anything. marami na raw sila naipamigay na damit at nagbagsak presyo na yung mga tinda sa grocery ng lola ko ..hehe. which is good. i thank God talaga na kami na lang yung tumutulong kesa kami ang tinutulungan. i believe, more than her shallow reasons, helping out is one, if not the only, reason why my lola decided to stay there. she could come here since monday pa to let things pass lang but she won't budge. siguro, she loved Real all these years, refusing to leave it for any place, why would she leave it now di ba?

as of now, i am praying na lang that yoyong will not be as destructive as predicted. if there is a great opportune time for PAGASA to fail with their predictions, it is now with this storm. classes are suspended at all levels na since 7 pm tonight...i am quite positive wala na rin ang offices tomorrow but i'm still hoping otherwise. aside from prayers, that's the best i can do to other people. eh ano ba naman kung pumasok ka...talaga namang may pasok kapag biyernes. just goes to show na may pasok bukas ibig sabihin, maayos ang panahon, bumagyo man the night before, it was not as destructive. man, this isn't the time to be selfish.

speaking of office, we were forced to leave by 3 pm, kasi nga daw babagsak yung bagyo ng 4 pm. wala rin naman...but I, among a few pthers, were on active watch. kasi i live near the embassy and there are instances na kailangan ng staff to attend to several concerns...like yung pag-help ng US govt, samin icocourse through yan, yung concerns ng amcits na may relatives na andito, etc etc etc. basta they will just call daw and a shuttle will pick me up...and take note, there is no time specified. kesehodang 1 am pag kailangang mag-shift, kasama ka sa pagpipilian. for my part, it would be so cool. pero i'm not hoping for it coz if it happens it spells more doom for other people badly hit by the storm. kaya may emergency staffing kasi something grave happened. so sana wag.

oh man, nagfufluctuate na ang power dito sa amin, baka sumabog na avr ko anytime. whew. let's just continue praying shall we?