Monday, February 28

...and hilary swank won pala. wow. i just knew she'll take it home.

Time really goes by so fast. I mean really fast. I used to think that it happens only to people who have a lot of sensible things to But why do I feel it when I do less of that (work)? I just bum around the house after office. I had a three-day workweek last week so I should have done a lot of updates but zilch. Btw, the 3-day work week concept is cool. Heehee.

So, what about me? I was supposed to write something last Saturday...something about my faith in God, something about my fear of death...but I just lost the drive to do so. I really don't know why. I got occupied reading other people's blogs and chatting with my regular Saturday girls so there. Come Sunday, I woke up late, went to church, spent three hours in this cool ukay ukay store and a couple more choosing DVD titles across the block. I am dying to get a whole set of Akira Kurosawa's films. I miss Chelli tuloy.

Today is yeah, Monday, and kanina, I was still on the road after 7:30 a.m. with no trace of guilt or worry that I am already late for the first day of the week. I am back to my confused self. While waiting for a cab, I thought of instances when I went to work know, with the drive to wake up early, ecstatic to sit down and do my work or at least what's in store for the day, and feeling that everything is just rosy and happy. I remembered only four times: my first day at work, our consular field trip in 2003, our unit's Customer Service Day in 2004 and the Credit Union's General Assembly last December. Hehe, come to think of it, none of them is a regular office day. Contrary to my post about working my ass off, yes, it's true, I take pride in it but most of the motivation comes from the obligation that is compensated by a rather good salary (it's not that much but it's pretty decent for a single woman like me).

So I thought, I must be hanging out with the wrong crowd (figuratively, of course--- actually, that is just to avoid the term 'mishandling my priorities' crap months ago). Here I go again.

Since I believe that there ought to be a book about my work titled "Judith Is Just Not So Into You: The No-Excuses Truth To Understanding Why She Is Not Working Passionately", I thought of things to divert my attention from the activities that "take me away from my work". I have to get into other activities involving less money, if possible.

So I decided to sign up for a language class.

I have to admit I'm so dead broke right now. I was a nice friend, lending a few hundred bucks to a friend in need, so I literally have a few bills to last me until Thursday. Yes, Thursday. So how will I pay for the course? Correct (think Kris Aquino)! Ask Mom for money. And even if it's payday this week, I dunno if I can pay her will have to be done in installments. I still owe her savings got close to zero after my trip, that's why. Impulsive buyer kasi eh. Hay nakuuuu!!!! The realities of life!!! Grrrrr!!!!!

Good luck to me.

I told my boss an hour ago that I should realize I am way luckier than most people my age but I'm wasting it without making a dent in any small sorta way, to think that I have all these friggin' opportunities surrounding me. And yep, I didn't hold back spilling the sentiment to MY BOSS...I know she sees it too but is just too nice not to talk to me and say that I suck as a deputy.

If I am not a human being who is supposed to go with the flow life, I don't want to work sana, I want a lot of money, I want to read my books everyday, watch movies and eat whatever I want. Buhay baboy really just exist in dreams, what do you think?

Saturday, February 19


All of her books.


Or one would do. Hehe.

~Photopost ~
(and please give my entry titles a break)

I realized that I have to drag my ass to some place so I won't feel that my Saturdays are boring but fast. Since I went out today, even for a mere four hours, I felt that this day is longer than my usual Saturdays.

I met Kathy, my kumare, to give my *brace yourselves* Christmas gift to my goddaughter, Asha. We just had no time to meet over the holidays. The vain that I am, of course, I took pics:

Pardon the glare. I intend to get a shot of me and Emma Alegre, whoever she is. This is one thing I do not miss when eating at Cafe Bola. Kathy and I were laughing hard with the idea that there is already a Liwayway Magazine back in December 3, 1957.

Kathy here was mouthing repeatedly, "Hindi tayo kasya sa frame, hindi tayo kasya sa frame..." snap! Sadly, Emma was the one who was not taken. I was not able to ask her too what's with her plaster drama.

We both craved for ice cream after lunch so we looked for a kiosk. It could have been that Magnolia scoopery in Glorietta Activity Center but I said I am craving for a big cone. We ended up in Häagen-Dazs Cafe. Stupid me, I never asked to have it served on an ice cream cone. It was good though.

This is their Ultimate Indulgence (which is also ultimately expensive). It's composed of Rum Raisin, Chocolate Chocolate Chip and Belgian Chocolate Chocolate, topped with almond bits and choco sprinkles (everything was our choice). We wanted Bailey's Irish Cream but they were not serving it today.

Us, after devouring the ice cream.

Sa menu, there was a Banoffee ice crem. Our convo went like this, ako muna:

"Banoffee? For sure, banana and coffee yan. Corny."

"It's better. Kesa naman..Conana. Mas pangit di ba?"

Kathy and I are not the kind of friends who catches up with each other on a regular basis. Before we parted today, when she asked when can we meet again, we agreed that we should not just plan it, just let it happen. We make fun of a lot of things when we're together but we actually update each other with mature stuff too, especially me being the ninang of her daughter. We talked about her recent plans and how it would affect her and Asha's life. I don't know if I mentioned before how we became friends. Our college boyfriends were buddies/blockmates. Kathy and I were both from UPM, though of different undergrad courses. Since they have the same sched, our then-boyfriends would be together waiting for us in the Arts and Sciences gate. Since they're friends, it would follow that we should be at least acquainted too. So gradually, we became close, sometimes we text each other if the sched that one boyfriend said is true, etc. In the end, we broke up, they broke up, I have no idea if the two guys now are still in touch, and Kathy and I are well...still friends..and now mag-kumare. I find it cute sometimes. And oh, here are recent pics of Asha. Hay, ang sarap ata ng may baby. Nyorks.

And other pics...

This was during Erielle's 7th birthday last Feb. 13. Children's party, so I should participate eh? Ang sarap mag-color. And darn, I realized I do not know the names of the seven dwarves! I got them all in the kiddie puzzle but not without the help of others! I totally forgot. Sheesh.

See...even Tita Ditos had to do it.

This is one game which should not be made in a kiddie party. I mean, you should never make fun of adults this way. Make them do kid stuff and it will make them look like more hilarious. Here, Eman, along with the other "dads" and "titos" had to dance whatever and the kids will judge who's the best. Duh. When Eman started to do his thing, we all shouted, "Eman, tama naaaaa!!!!" Wala lang.

Erensse and Tito Erwin, who left early!

And this was last Thursday....

Snapshot. Tita Beth and Sandy would kill me because of this.

Eiselle and yours truly. Nangungulit lang.

It's only been two weeks since I returned but it feels like two months already. I have no right to return to my lazybone self because, as many said, I recently came from training. I got to learn many issues and grievances but I don't know what exactly I was trained for. Heehee. I remember going shopping for bags, and depleting flat my savings (and my relatives') though.

But I'm coping. latest date of pending correspondence is February 9...that's barely a fortnight compared to a month (until forgotten) before last year ended. I don't know if my eyeglasses made me really work. There were days when I worked for an hour and surfed the net for the next eight hours (including lunch break, you know). Or sometimes my hour's worth of work comes in between...say, surf for four hours, work for one, then surf for the next four. At least, I mastered the art of minimizing browsers. It's actually just a right blend of sensitivity (to know if someone's coming or just passing behind you) and finger motion (to minimize). It's very vital to have an MS Word document simultaneously open with your surfing windows because it is your fall back. Don't mind if it's the same document all throughout the one will bother to scrutinize what you're doing. Plus, all our correspondences should be made in standard Times New Roman, size 12 so the one-document-open-for-the whole-day really works. Hello, my name is Dilbert.

Of course, I'm kidding.

Sure, I may not be that passionate worker who really prioritizes my job above all my interests but still, I--actually, we-- work our asses off every single day, catering to the needs of our customers, no matter how ridiculous their demands could be. It is a fact that we cannot flaunt our jobs like most of you because of security reasons, but the pride that we get from it is just different, even if nothing is publicly said about it. By the way, during the training, I know that they mean it naman, it has been the DoS' line that they are proud of and thankful to all the foreign service nationals around the globe. It's something that can be simply said over and over but I actually felt the need to tear when I heard it from almost all our speakers/trainors.

As I said, I may not be one from who/where work innovation may originate, but I would like to pride myself to be a good and active member of the workgroup. Almost half of my colleagues are technically my boss and add to that an extreme amount of casework and occasional problem officemates, then that constitutes my work.

So, I titled this disoriented because I started writing on a Friday afternoon, supposed to be "wrapping up" day of the week which turned out to be the opposite. Now that I'm finishing it at 6 a.m., after a long 9-hour sleep, things actually feel much better. Something that will arm you for Tuesday (Monday is President's Day), when your backlog will greet you, a hundred more will come, and a thousand plus applicants to process will be waiting to be serviced. Initially, my team is not involved in directly servicing these applicants as they come, but with that ridiculous number, I know we will be asked to help. Which I would be willing to do, honestly. (I've been meaning to say something, more like a complaint, about how we are treated at times, but I decided not to. This is a very good morning.)

Thursday, February 10

New Song of my Life

Freaky. This is me now. For now.

A few weeks after I changed my Friendster profile, particularly my Favorite music, I contemplated on whether I don't Wanna Be is really the song of my life. I realized that it could be, yes, but only after finding myself and realizing my true worth. Eto at nagdadrama na naman ako ha. Anyway, I found a MORE suitable song for me...a song I just took for granted before. I was in the middle of typing out a congressional correspondence when I heard it and it struck me. It's Stacie Orrico's song, (There's Gotta Be) More to Life. Swak na swak.

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more.....
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

Well, the term temporary high may entail deeper discussion but expect to read more of that two words from me in the next few posts.

- We have a new girl in the office, Sandy. I don't know what happened but for two consecutive new staffs, I became the office sponsor. It was okay though. Sandy is one sweet lady and I know she will be like that for life. I think she's even too shy and reserved for us! Anyway, welcome aboard (the zoo), Lourdes Alexandra Basconcillo!! (And I really flaunted your name! Bwahahahaha!!)

- I now wear (corrective) glasses. Someone said I look like a cross between Jessica Zafra and Boy Abunda. Grabe naman. Di man lang Lisa Loeb (thanks, Gerlan!). I am still adjusting and I don't know if I will wish to get rid of this or simply keep it soon enough.

- Our office troubles are still the same. Like, what's new?

- I gained weight. I had bouts of major leg cramps last night, causing me serious walking problems going to the office, and this was attributed to my heavy weight which my knees can't take. How does that relate to cramps, anyway?

- My current song is Another Used To Be by Joe. *sighs*

- I spent half a day cleaning my hub. Such mess I've accumulated in the past year. I hope everything's clearer now. I actually expected to see hibernating boas among my piles and piles of paper and other junk but I was disappointed.

Sunday, February 6


Almost all who knows me really well would agree that books make my day. I have not read most of the books I bought since the last quarter of 2003 but I kept on collecting anyway. Just my recent trip alone had me buying some books, most of which cannot be bought here in Manila yet (as far as I know).

I wonder when the movie version of the Sisterhood book will come out. Anyhow, I enjoyed the first installment of the pants-sharing and the third book, I bought basically fresh from the racks. It was out in stores January 25 and I caught it on the 26th.

Well, you know I wanted to buy this book long before. It's just that I can't seem to find it in any NBS branch. Erwin asked me what I hope to get after reading this? Well, baka lang mag-iba ang perspective ko. An attempt to be someone na nagmamatalino. You know how my mind is built only for shallow thoughts. Nyaha.

You know how it feels when something reminds you of someone or something? This book reminds me of the Dymocks bookshop in Rob when I was in college. It was there that I saw most of the books I loved to have, this book included, but it closed shop about two years ago.

This was literally the last book I bought in San Francisco. I bought it in the airport, ha-ha! I don't know why, it just fascinated me, to think that I was only buying a box of gum. The synopsis goes:

Barcelona, 1945-just after the war, a great world city lies in shadow, nursing its wounds, and a boy named Daniel awakes on his eleventh birthday to find that he can no longer remember his mother's face. To console his only child, Daniel's widowed father, an antiquarian book dealer, initiates him into the secret of the Cemetery of Forgotten Books, a library tended by Barcelona's guild of rare-book dealers as a repository for books forgotten by the world, waiting for someone who will care about them again. Daniel's father coaxes him to choose a volume from the spiraling labyrinth of shelves, one that, it is said, will have a special meaning for him. And Daniel so loves the novel he selects, The Shadow of the Wind by one Julian Carax, that he sets out to find the rest of Carax's work. To his shock, he discovers that someone has been systematically destroying every copy of every book this author has written. In fact, he may have the last one in existence. Before Daniel knows it his seemingly innocent quest has opened a door into one of Barcelona's darkest secrets, an epic story of murder, magic, madness and doomed love. And before long he realizes that if he doesn't find out the truth about Julian Carax, he and those closest to him will suffer horribly.

I don't know yet if this will be among the ranks of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, whose 100 Years of Solitude I never get to finish yet, and Arturo Perez-Reverte. I got to scan the first few chapters and it's good so far.

My third Marian Keyes book. I enjoyed Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married and Angels so...I hope it follows know.

I first came across this novel in a Vanity Fair book review last year. The synopsis goes:

Olivia Hunt's Hollywood life has come to a grinding halt. A hotshot producer accustomed to first-class amenities, Olivia has just been unceremoniously fired after her last movie tanked. Her boyfriend, Michael, has dumped her. And she's not the blonde she used to be: dark roots are coming in at an alarming rate. Her next project is a well-crafted suicide note. Then she finds out what real trouble is. Olivia's beloved sister, Maddie, is seriously ill. Maddie is living the life Olivia ran like hell from - she's happily married to her high school sweetheart and still living in the small town where they grew up. Stunned and bewildered, Olivia catches the next plane back home. Maddie's idealism and optimism have always driven Olivia crazy. Even now, when the odds aren't good, Maddie never doubts she'll beat them. But Olivia wonders, is hope just a way of kidding yourself? As if to answer that question, Maddie challenges Olivia to produce her dream film, the impossible-to-make Don Quixote. Olivia's life then becomes a tangle of movie sets, IV drips, and letters to Michael asking him what went wrong and if they might try again. When Maddie takes a turn for the worse, Olivia has to face the hardest choices life can offer. How can one person's heart so truly be in three places at once?


The synopsis goes:

The Reading Group follows the trials and tribulations of a group of women who meet regularly to read and discuss books.Over the course of a year, each of these women become intertwined, both in the books they read and within each other's lives.

Inspired by a shared desire for conversation, a good book and a glass of wine-Clare, Harriet, Nicole, Polly, and Susan undergo startling revelations and transformations despite their differences in background, age and respective dilemmas.

What starts as a reading group gradually evolves into a forum where the women may express their views through the books they read and grow to become increasingly more open as the bonds of friendship cement.

In The Reading Group, Noble reveals the many complicated paths in life we all face as well as the power and importance of friendship.

Another there.

Eh? One of the many Judith McNaught books that are out of the shelves, even if they are already reprints! I read almost all of her books in college but all of them were borrowed. A nice way to kick-off an actual collection for the hopeless romantic in me. Bwark.

I bought this before I left, using Tita Beth's NBS GC gift to me! Ironically, this is one book Tita Beth would not want me to have! I still believe that there are a lot of things that should be left unexplained about religion and one's belief systems, but it won't hurt to open your mind to some other ideas--at the back of my mind, I know that they are not fictional.

Friday, February 4


I'm coming home! Yay! The last four days were so much fun. As my niece, Lai, put it, I crammed in four days what a tourist should do in about a month. Neat. Hehe. But if in the middle of the night, you wake up with all these thoughts about work, then it's about time to go home. It's only February, there are almost 10 1/2 months to have fun.

After the packing at the last minute (what else is new - and oh, I shopped at literally the last minute, too; oh mayn, the bags, the bags!!), we watched Rex Navarette's Hella Pinoy show in dvd. He's been in Manila before but I did not catch him. In fact, I have in my computer his "Maritess and the Superfriends" thing and I have not watched it! But the guy is hella funny. Whaa, funny is even an understatement. Rexxx, cam her (that was supposedly his Mom calling him). Riot talaga.

Wednesday, February 2


See, my training was over for four days now but I can't find time to update this with everything that I want to share. I'm still on an extended vacation, weeee! Whilst I miss a lot from my Mom to the dust and dirt of Manila, I am taking this opportunity to experience things for the first time in my 22 years (I'm now on my 23rd, gee). I can't wait to be home but where I am now is pretty much home na rin. During the training, even with all the perks and this-is-so-new stuff (I am on my own, fun!), as usual, there was too much responsibility and restrictions. Here, I get to get up whenever I want, eat whenever and whatever I want and sometimes, I really feel guilty having to turn my family's work schedules upside down because I am here. But I am having fun. I chuckled when I received a text from my Mom that, in a nutshell, says, "Enjoy yourself there 'coz when you return, you'll be working again." Hahaha, so true. But I guess that's what real life is all about.