Sunday, January 29

messed up

my friend carolina sent me a text message all the way from malaysia (although i believe she's just somewhere in quezon city, sorry dear). she said, "i am so happy. an orgasm is the best thing that could happen to you on a bleak sunday afternoon." gah. no, she's not had what you're thinking. she's more virgin than i am, haha. she's talking about something else. although at the back of my mind, i am toying with the idea of literally having what she had. haha, i'm such a...carnivore? hahaha! *wink*

i am so messed up, and would continue to be one starting tomorrow. i feel like floating forever. i raided ukay ukay shops again without thinking if i will be able to wear what i bought in the first place. i bought bookmarks. i bought magazines. i bought a pirated copy of cake and city of god. and i bought the second volume of the great political theories. haaaa, neat, eh? i don't know why i did those things. i am floating again.

yesterday, i found out that rachel also loves jennifer aniston. so fun. :) i'm on a roll lately catching up on what this woman has been doing for the past decade and a half. i am a total latebloomer of while i get smirks and scoffs over this fan thing, it's something that i can't avoid. i'm sure those who have been or is a fan of some celebrity would understand. like, did f4 fans instantly like the boys (well, they were practically boys then!) when meteor garden started airing? i guess not. it's something that just came one day, like after watching an episode. with me, i noticed it's a "reviving" thing. like when i so liked kris aquino and korina sanchez ;) see, they had morning girls and i practically recorded each and every episode everyday for 16 months but i can trace the fascination back when i was in grade school during their hoy gising days, when i thought being a newscaster is the greatest career one can have. i stopped liking them because i moved on to other stuff only to watch them one day and get all interested once again. the same thing happened to jen and the cast of friends. i was all but 13 when i started watching them every wednesday on ABC 5. i followed them for two seasons until, well, i forgot about them and moved on to another (ally mcbeal). when i was idling my saturday afternoons four months ago watching their classic episodes on etc, i just realized i missed so much i better catch up. which i did, and i have been so busy ever since ;) i found an A-1, super amazing all-about-Friends-and-more website so i forget about a lot of things lately :) i've been sleeping around 3 a.m. on weekends, downloading and watching past episodes of oprah, SNL, ellen, et, larry king live, TTS with jay leno, LN with conan o'brien, gag reels, and many more. i am so grateful i am on wifi now.

so i'm still messed up. bear with it. off to download more stuff.


oh, a mosquito *snap*.

Saturday, January 28

used up

had only 5 hours of sleep. watched rumor has it. so-so film but it's what i need on a supposed rest day. rachel hinted that she's so bored. i decided to meet her at G4. we ate at cibo while talking about our respective trips for two hours. i went with her to have her taiwan pics transferred. had coffee and chocolate cake and talked about our bosses and colleagues, petty job complaints, f4, eric tu, machi and her deranged friend. window shopped. browsed what's showing in G4 and ended up going to G1 to watch...tadaa..don't give up on us. i'm on the edge of being penniless so rachel treated me, haha.

on it's third week of run in theaters, piolo and judy ann's movie probably deserves to be a box office hit. of course it still has a lot of loose ends (as with rumor has it) but unless there's a perpetual best of the best quality film festival going on, this movie could pass as a great stress reliever. it's funny, it's light, it's kilig. rachel and i were gushing in all the right moments, hehehe!!!

after seeing the movie, it made me think if i don't really want to have someone with me right now. well, it's true that no matter how much you want something if there's none available, then it won't really happen. however, i realized that maybe, a little part of all of us forever wants that cute feeling involved in giving and receiving affection to and from someone. sometimes, adults overdo it and tend to go all carnal and intimate, which could also be considered (above) normal. most of the time, cheesy gestures can really melt my heart. *sigh*

on the other hand, rachel and i both agreed while in the theater that the "i'll go with you because i love you/you should go with me to prove that you love me" compromise isn't all the time for the best. maybe it's because both of us do want to achieve something and having to encounter someone like piolo's character who dreams, say, "simple things", can be a bit of a hassle. maybe we can say this now because we haven't really gone into that moment of having to choose. who knows? (but i hope we won't. )

we went home just as the mall is preparing to close. it was fun. it was a rather productive saturday.

and oh, rachel also gave me rayan's pasalubong-slash-birthday gift. nuxx, kenneth cole croc wallet. friend, is that you? then he said may part 2 pa. sana croc bag na. woohoo :) joke!

to end, let me just share something mushy that i can't get over it :

"I am not here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to." - Sarah Huttinger (Rumor Has It)

Friday, January 27


after a very tiring 11-hour workday, i conditioned myself to meet with my highschool BFFs :) two were missing-in-action but it was fantastic nonetheless. one of the many things i thought of during my irrational hiatus is my often-denied need to reconnect and stay in touch with people from my past.

it was a very warm dinner at caffe milano. by the way, the food had quite gone down, quality-wise. when we ate there for lunch probably a year ago, it was sooo good. the second one was just satisfactory and tonight, well, it has become an ordinary italian dining place to me (but the ambience was still great). i insisted we get my favorite pizza corea (four types of cheese, salami, italian beef) but i was disappointed with their ravioli d' (something). for one, i've been used to raviolis that are square-shaped (well, i grew up having raviolis straight from a can, haha). theirs looked more like big elbow-shaped macaronis, in red sauce and ricotta cheese, and the beef inside each ravioli (raviolette? hehe.) was elllllll....the texture of the beef was a bit uncomfortable inside the mouth. llll.

anyway, more than the food, i was thrilled to hear the things i've missed about my friends' lives, and of people we know. neds' boyfriend was there but of course was still too shy to co-bash the universe with us (he, btw, ranked 4th in the recent dentistry licensure exam, and neds passed, too! congrats!). see, living away from them had me wanting a barrage of updates about a lot of things, people and events. i've been away for almost eight years! time wasn't enough because their lives and mine alone, dinner time wouldn't suffice.

in sum, our lives are eventful and good. lyndsey even had a "brief" lovelife...well, it was a shock when she was making kuwento about the guy because since time immemorial, she never had that. i shared my own foolish exploits last year but compared to what she went through, mine was okay. ang bottomline, she's only about 85% healed while i can proudly say i completely am. as in. in a way, may similarities sa circumstances, but i guess those stuff made the experience more...ah...realistic?

over coffee, we started fooling around like we used to in highschool. some good things never do change. there are actions that no matter how old you get, you still feel naturally comfortable doing especially when with people that you know know you inside out. all of a sudden nga lang, the thought of striking 25 made us wonder. well, i just turned 24 and in our group, my bestfriend em is the first among us who will turn 25 in august. that's what i told her august pa. pero kahit na daw. she'll be 25...and it will only be a couple of months after that na each of us will turn 25, too. em and lynds were particularly a bit bothered...especially with their personal lives. neds is happily attached to robert, si tzai is, as far as i know, happy with her life, and lizette, whom i have not seen in a while eh happy din. then there's moi, who i said na masaya din naman. hah, easy for me to say but like what i told them, even if i'm single, hindi ko naman nararamdaman yung nafifeel nila. wanna know why? because last year, my heart has been through a hell of an emotional exercise. i have no one beside me pero like a machine, parang it was used, therefore has been oiled sufficiently to weather its usage, kahit hindi naman technically nagkaroon ng production, parang ganon.

in truth, i don't feel as pressured with life as i had been two years ago. i could probably panic when i reach my thirties...or not. well, i opened myself to dating naman, as my friends did open themselves as well. in fact, i'm not really into it seriously pero kung may ipapa-date naman sa akin, preferably yung type ko na na chubby at please, sana naman yung may sense kausap at hindi masyado self-centered. but i'm not looking, hahaha!!! i'm even more concerned with how to have the time to download all pertinent Friends videos through the years, and how safe it is to use limewire :)

i maybe 24 but now i realize that life isn't to be taken in a rush. savor each moment, take it slow sometimes, because there are too many things to look at, experience, think about.

and there will be countless moments worth to be captured:

Em, Lyndsey, Anedyn, Judie, Robert
two blurred images of us, girls. robert&neds, the two new dentists. the happy couple with lynds. em and i goofing around with the breads. em and lynds getting wacky with my lariats. sticking out my tongue. was too busy straining my neck to stare at the lady's book holder behind me.

Monday, January 23


i'm all ready to blog about BKK when i was distracted again by my new downloads of the Oprah episodes where she had the cast of Friends (Nov '03 and May '04) and "The Stuff You've Never Seen Before" episode with Conan O'Brien in 2001. they're just so cool to watch; i even teared on some parts. hayyy...still on my number 1 fan mode! :)

i'm sure this has been posted a lot already but let me post an excerpt of the news again:
Seminal sitcom FRIENDS is returning to television after each of its six stars agreed multi-million dollar deals to star in four one-hour specials.

In a secret meeting before Christmas (05), JENNIFER ANISTON, COURTENEY COX, LISA KUDROW, MATT LeBLANC, DAVID SCHWIMMER and MATTHEW PERRY reportedly agreed a $5 million (GBP2.7 million) apiece deal with NBC bosses in Los Angeles.

Scriptwriters have already started penning lines for the four double episodes, which are due to air next year (2006).

great, great news that i hope pushes through. i know it was jennifer aniston who was the last to agree. i personally think that a reunion show can be fitting after, like, 5 years. but what the heck, it's been 2 years by the time it hopefully airs so what's 3 years short? :) a lot has missed them so much!

off to download gag reels now...

(bituing walang ningning is showing now on cinema one. haha.)

Sunday, January 22


i'm back. i have so many mixed feelings about this trip i can't begin to write them down. well, i know what i should and should not write but i was taken away by my current addiction to a sturdy Friends forum that i am putting off this update for a while.

i am officialy 24, single, fat but happy.

see you whenever :)

Monday, January 16

TOW funny lines

i am supposed to be typing Sandy's employee evaluation tonight. but hey, i'm not. i'm actually pretty sleepy now and i still won't nudge. my boss will probably kill me when i return.

on my post earlier today, i made one glaring spelling error. i am so proud so i turn blind to all other grammatically incorrect wordings i have, hehe. just that one. i'm even too lazy to edit "it". i am typing a new entry anyway so i'll just point that yes, i did notice that wrong spelling.

my mommy's got an email address now. finally :) her yahoo username cracked me up. it's so her.

speaking of cracking up, among the gazillions of funny lines in Friends, i was so laughing hysterically at this line from Phoebe...

the scene was this: (it's season 10) Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) is getting married and they decided to hold it outside Central Perk as it was the aftermath of a very bad snowstorm. it was naturally freezing cold. As she prepares to go out, she removed her kinda flowery winter coat and revealed that she's dressed in a really fancy wedding dress (she's so sexy, imo). The convo with
Chandler (Matthew Perry), who's to walk her down the "aisle" went:

Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?

Phoebe: I don't care... I'll be my something blue.

if you did not find it funny, uhm...go watch Friends. you will understand me. hehe.

plus, the wedding vows were heartwarming. Phoebe's marrying Mike Hannigan (played by the former topnotcher in my hottie list, Paul Rudd), and the vows went:

Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She then puts the ring on Mikes finger)

Mike: Phoebe, you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)

see, when i start, i can't really stop. eto, last na lang, this was from season 3; the "friends" were talking:

Chandler: Do you think that there’s a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And as you’re driving into town there’s like a sign, and it says “You’re in Sample.”


i'll be 24 in 27 hours. i am so old.
look who's...

happy. i am! i'm on wi-fi now. hehe :) as much as i regret placing virtually all service guys in my "you're gonna screw me up" bin, i can't help it tlaga. good thing God sends me people who are trustworthy enough and gets the job really done. at least, hindi naman siguro sayang yung tip ko :)

annoying. the barangay officials of chromium street!!! last night, they spent a great deal of banging on walls and walking on rooftops to allegedly have the banderitas up for the upcoming fiesta. then it turned out hindi naman pala nila ginawa, ewan baka nag-moonlight tripping lang sila kagabi sa mga bubong ng mga bahay namin.

guilty. ako pa rin! my boss will be away from the 23rd, the first day of my return to the office so she wants to see Sandy's employee evaluation write-up before that. eh i'll be gone nga for the whole week so naturally i have to get it to her within this week. and until now, di ko masimulan...ang dyahe naman kung nasa middle ako ng vacation tas i'm typing away an employee evaluation. how pathetic is that? i have an alternative? syempre wala. kaya i must send it tonight. harumph.

back. Rayan is! ang dami nyang kuwento parang hindi nya alam saan mag-start, hehe. sobrang happy kasi eh :) kahit his two new pants were stolen (aawww :D). excited din naman ako to hear his stories but i just had to make my other ear listen to wowowee on a nearby tv kasi nakakaawa yung contestants, hahaha!!! i told him to arrange his US pics in chronological order then show it to me na lang when i return. of course, the most important thing in this whole Rayan thing is...may pasalubong sya sa akin. hehe:) i will like it coz it's better than tigger daw? hmmm. si George Clooney na naka-bow tie lang? wow, thanks, wipee :) and he's looking for blog sige, you're back in the mailing list, you happy person you! :)

impatient. my friend na itago na lang natin sa pangalang Nathaniel, buwahaha. he asked for something from someone. aba, hindi pa nakuntento na inaccomodate yung request nya on such a short notice and even after the fact na tapos na yung deadline, parang sya pa yong pissed off kasi ang tagal ng result. ano buzz :) i know it's easy to advice and close friends will rub it on my face that i am having a hard time na isabuhay yung mga advices ko sa iba. nevertheless, Nate, impatient ka, alam mo yon? mas mabilis daw maubos ang buhok ng mga taong ganyan, hala ka.

bored. i am. kung kelan pa mabilis na ang internet connection, saka pa tinamad, how weird. nakarami na rin naman ako ng nadownload na Friends guestings and tv appearances :) i better find something on the web to be fascinated with so hindi naman sayang.


Saturday, January 14

something doesn't feel right

let me tell you how this day went. i watched Friends on dvd as soon as i woke up and began munching on my cereals. after four hours, the smart wifi guys came and for two hours they pissed me off. when they left, i took a very quick shower (no time for encore singing in the bathroom this time) then watched Friends again for another six hours. pretty eventful, isn't it?

okay, now i'm still on dial-up. my dilemma with these installer guys (see dairycreamer's post) were just, i dunno, probably something that a technology-handicapped person like me can't just understand? i doubt if they would even return tomorrow. i don't know if i did the right, but for them bitchy, thing of writing and signing a reminder that "will need to return on Jan. 15 to complete installation" on their official installation acknowledgement sheet. all i wanna know now is, do i deserve this, having a wi-fi installer on an off-colored jersey who looked like he was snatched off a basketball game down the block (seriously), getting all screwed up with my PC lacking this and that crap after repeated calls for affirmation from Smart's "technical support group" that i'm all set to be 'wifi'd', while all i ever wanted is to have faster internet connection and as such, has sacrificed paying another thousand monthly from hereon??? do i???

i'm really gonna stop blabbing how this failed wi-fi thing has upset me because it won't get fixed no matter how much i rant here, or like even if i wish that other wi-fi users get all messed up, too. ha-ha.

let me see, one thing different now in the house is my mom's absence. she told me about her plan of going to my grandmother's this weekend and she has just done so...though this morning, when i asked her groggily when she'll be back, she said maybe monday...or tuesday (in a very unsure voice). see, my mom and i got into this little discussion about something then it was flamed further by my decision to go ahead with this trip on (for) my birthday. i planned it two months ago and until the first week of this month, she hasn't made up her mind if she wants to come or if she does, where we will go. finally, she suggested that we should postpone the trip and just go maybe on her birthday or around the middle of the which i said no. i know it's too selfish, too rude and probably too insensitive for some of you but hey, it's my's a plan i had and if i don't go, i'm telling you, there is really no clear-cut assurance that we're actually gonna go in the coming months. so she felt bad and did not speak to me for two days. she spoke to me again when i fyi'd her that i was gonna pay for my ticket and hotel reservation already where she only replied a meek "OO".

so now, i am facing a 4-day adventure in a not-so-foreign land, alone, and on a tight budget. i don't plan to splurge but of course, that i cannot say with absolute certainty. probably mom's also worried about that on top of feeling bad about my leaving her behind. i don't know what to expect, actually. but i'll survive. i was told by two people that going alone is too stupid and crazy while a few also told me that it's gonna be i'm fine with that already. see, if i got opinions all only on one side of this decision, then that should creep me out. i still have no real plans once i get there, as my most pressing concern is for mom to be back before tuesday (and i kinda remember telling her this while half-awake) because i need the keys to get either my ATM card (mom still keeps them, i'm in too much temptation if they're in my safekeep) or $200 (you know, in case some wussiness happens, at least i have backup funds, hehe). i am really a heartless daughter, don't you think?

so i'm here now, still on dial-up, typing away because i have to give my dvd player a break (which reminds me i should get a pirated player, the cheapest one, because that could solve my non-working dvds problem!), we still have no cable TV connection, i'm not sleepy yet, i'm too lazy to read (huh, is this me?), and...i dunno. something just makes me a bit uncomfortable. something's just not right. and i know it's so beyond Friends or not having wi-fi yet.

Wednesday, January 11

the trouble with smart...and me?

i promised myself i'm going to be more patient with delayed services and other irresponsible actions with regard to anything i ordered or purchased. but i can't. and i still snap easily, like, if the reasonable time until a reasonable person snaps should be after two hours, my current "detonation" is after mga 2 seconds. anger management training, i still need badly.

to think, hindi naman super hassle yung nangyari. well, "hassle" is pretty relative. here it is, you be the judge.

last week, i paid for my smart wi-fi installation. i was told someone will call me to schedule the installation. after two days, someone did. i was scheduled on january 10, yesterday, after bargaining for january 7 sana. they can't daw, a lot are in queue na, so sige, okay lang. yesterday, i called smart twice and on both occasions i got confirmation na scheduled nga ako yesterday for installation. nakauwi na lang ako sa bahay at lahat, wala. on my third call, i was given the ,"ma'am, marami po kasing naka-line up na iinstallan" to probably mean, "hindi lang ikaw ang kliyente namin, maghintay ka naman." and this was around 7 p.m. na. galeng no? so alas-otso, alas-nueve, wala.

this morning, some raul, an impertinent raul called the house casually saying, "wala pa ho kayong antenna sa smart kaya hindi kayo nakabitan." i called them back and ano ba namang mga contractors yon, alam mo yung parang mga nakahilata lang sila sa office at tinatamad lahat. i need to know a few things, and the corresponding replies fumed me.

"i called smart TWICE, confirmed na yesterday ang schedule bakit hindi kayo dumating?"

"eh kasi po...(talking to companion, "bakit nga ba?" "itanong mo kung taga-saan"), ma'am, anong street po kayo?"


"(to companion, "chromium daw, hanapin mo nga meron ba", then after a while) ah ma'am, kahapon nga po kayo pero coding pala kami kaya hindi kami nagpunta."

"at bakit wala man lang nagsabi na hindi kayo dadating?"

"eh....atsaka wala pa po kayong antenna!!!!"

"anong antenna?"

"yun pong galing sa pong ano, yung para maikabit yung internet..."

"walang sinabi sa akin ang smart pagbayad ko na kailangan ko ng antenna."

"kailangan po yon eh."

"sino ang tatanggap non, ako o kayo?"

"ah...kayo po...?"

"ako o kayo??!!"

"kayo po. tapos iseschedule po ulit pag meron na."

at mahaba pang exchange so i would know if he really knows what he's talking about. at one point, nagmura ako talaga. minura ko yung kausap ko. if only for that na sobra na kasi nagtatatalak na nga ako di ba bakit kailangang magmura, i felt guilty for a while...but anyway...see, i was never told of that friggin' antenna, whatever it is. i paid, was asked to wait to be scheduled, was given a list of requirements which are mostly computer specs, and accomodate the installer people when they come, that's all. so, negligence yon sa part ng smart, tama ba? pero the contractors should practice good customer service so it would seep into their bone marrows naman dahil as the classic impression goes, they represent smart pa rin. well, dito rin sa amin, the mistakes of our call center contractor bounce back without us knowing bakit sila nagsabi o gumawa ng nakakawindang sa client. hmph.

anyway, i called smart again and was told that this will be "elevated" to the "higher support group" (dahil baka lower support group ang nag-handle nung una? hay). so ang ending, i should have been expecting pala for a darn equipment before mainstall. major buwisit talaga. then i have to "wait" for a notice na malamang sa hindi means ako din naman dapat mag-followup sa kanila ulit na parang ako pa ang may utang na loob ganung ako na nga ang tumangkilik ng produkto nila. tapos sinasabi ng iba maikli ang pisi ko? aba naman. sa halagang dalawang libong peso at "low price" ng 988 kada buwan, ganitong serbisyo ang ibibigay sa'yo. hah.

before i end, eto pa pala, yung hilong contractor pa, hiritan ba naman ako sa tonong "gaano ba kaimportante yang tawag mo?" ng (nung panahong hindi pa tumataas yung boses ko), "KAHAPON NGA PO KAYO NAKA-SCHEDULE, ANO PONG PROBLEMA??" o di ba, ang sarap salaksakin ng pruning shears. hmmmppphhhh!!!! anong problema???? yun lang namang "kahapon" eh tapos na!!! *haaaaaaaaaaahhh!!*

Tuesday, January 10


* the smart wi-fi guys stood me up. hmph. letch.

* i am going to travel alone, it seems.

* either ^ or i'll be up there at the peak of Mt. Pulag on my 24th birthday. if i can find people to come, i'll drop my trip abroad. seriously.

* i'm so inggit with Rachel she has everything planned na...oh well, what's new with me. sis, sama na lang tayo sa KL pagkatapos ng midyear bonus. char :)

* stooopppp the maaadddneeeessssssssss...(my work is killing me. i want a change! total overhaul! but with the same or better pay! ambisyosa!)

* i gained 5 pounds over the holidays. my tummy and my face show it's more like 10-15 lbs. but it's really just 5. unless our bathroom scale is a pathological liar.

* syet, 24 na ako next week. i always have this feeling na pag nag-24 ka ang bilis na non papuntang 30. parang pag Wednesday na, ang bilis na mag-Friday. hala. stooopp the maaaddneeessss...

song in my head: Smelly Cat by Phoebe Buffay (fan! fan! fan!)

Friday, January 6

the one with the update
(see how much i am so hooked on FRIENDS?)

January 3 - back to work. was in-charge. do i care? well, do i have a choice in the first place? there you go. told them i am so hooked on friends they should expect me to blab about the show and jennifer aniston more often. signed up to go wifi (san andres bukid, wifi! wahu.) got my pastelitos from rachel. yummy. had dinner alone. i like it when servers recognize me as a regular but when they ask me why am i alone, parang, uhm, what do you care? this dinner was when nick lachey was singing i do over and over and the muted tv shows star wars. so it's like nick is serenading yoda, something like that. so cinematic.

January 4 - got some money. the bosses met with all of us pinoy staff. requested for overtime but was denied and instead was offered an alternative where they can't really understand why you just need effing two days of OT work and no need for coaching and other bullshit that on the rebound accuses us in a way of not having trust on other people's ability. naman. there are tasks that are not hard but are cumbersome. hindi ko sinasabing mahirap, in fact, madali nga, pero kahit papano may rules pa din ang "simple task" na yon na bago mo maimpart sa tutulong sayo, eh sana ikaw na lang ang gumawa at malamang eh tapos na rin agad. mahirap ba maintindihan? ako kasi hindi naman nahirapan. had dinner with my mom and my cousins who came from palau. paid smart for the wifi thingie.

January 5 - payday but i didn't feel it. paid for the stuff i ordered (once i liked someone, in a "fan" fashion, i act fast). my travel plan is still...a plan. can't make up my mind as to where to go while rachel is all geared up for taipei. she needs to return there by march again. then she said we can plan going to KL, too. this is if the may '06 plan to cambodia won't push through. see, so many trips to take, so little time...and most all, so little money!!! i found out that E2 greeted me 'happy new year' pala. hehe kilig :) the result of the alternative workplan was a load of crap dumped on me. ako dapat mag-OT para matapos din yon. hay....good thing i bought magazines with (you probably know who by now) on them. i had to cancel on rachel again which made me feel so bad but i just had to. sorry sis. it's just that her errand seemed too tiring for me kaya nga sabi ko hindi na tlaga ako mag-invite, just let it happen :( then i learned something that will be known sooner or later. i only told rachel and jacs this time because otherwise i'm gonna explode. can't keep something that major to myself lang. but i am confident with them naman. si jacs pa with our biatchy sarcasm text session which i regretfully had to end hanging. let me reply to you jacs with, "uhm, tim???"

January 6 - received something from my 'savings'. can't finalize my travel yet. i only got a week. work is still a source of stress. chelli called. i wanna be with her right now if only for the chika she missed. let's go to fresno, haha. i told her about ebay-ing during office hours...see, she saw i haven't changed...di pa rin ako nagtatrabaho tlaga, haha. i just had to hear it from her, the classic chelli way of telling me i'm so baduy...and it like opened a can of affirmation that yes, i am baduy. haha...and i so lavette. was supposed to meet up with a travel agent but decided to go have dinner again with the other staff. this time an officer came and a hell lot of beans were spilled, hehe. but like what sandy said, unless we do something about "it", it will never end. magulo, magulo. i am disillusioned not just with the boss but with the work itself. it became too plain. if only i have a better option. i released my pent up disappointment by eating. i'm having too much caffeine, too. then just when i just mumbled something about missing Rayan all of a sudden, aba may text sya pag-uwi ko asking for help. well, ano ba bago, hahaha (apir tayo, friend!) but at least i talked to him. i asked him, "happy?" sumagot sya, "very." that said it all. at least yung plan nya nasunod pa rin. hoy, bumalik ka ha, isusumbong kita sa fraud unit namin pag hindi ka bumalik! hahaha :) pagdating nga lang baka may asawa na. hah! hmm.

so...can you tell me if i can get kahit a burned copy of the Nov. 20, 2003 episode of Oprah? it's when she interviewed the cast of Friends mga 7 months prior to Friends' last episode. i read the transcript and i felt sad na naman. hay. i really wanna have it. then seasons 4 to 9 of my set are bad...maybe it's just with my player, sabi nung iba. i am thinking of buying a pirated dvd player kasi baka doon mag-work sya. so sad tlaga...ang karma chameleon, expedited processing na talaga, hahaha. window release pa, with a purple stub :)

Monday, January 2

short, direct, could be shocking

thanks to Jerry and Ate Cathy. i will still blog and hopefully get rid of all my pretentiousness because jologs blogging is really me. hehe.

last year (kala mo antagal na nung last year!), i made a list of things i plan to successfully embark on in 2005. the result?

:: Less Starbucks. - successful! i had less reading time last year and only indulged in the caffeine mania to get my 2006 planner.

:: Work harder. - uhm...i dunno.

:: Enroll in a post-graduate course or any certificate class. - enrolled in a basic Spanish class in Instituto Cervantes but did not finish it. i wonder what major thing could have happened had i attended the last 4 sessions.

:: Eat more vegetables. - i can't believe i actually wrote this down. parang pang-"eat na your veggies, honey, open your mouth, here's the train, choo choo..."

:: Read more books. - did not top my record last year. i only managed to finish 20 books in 2005.

:: Go out more. - maybe i did. not that i have a real social life now but it's basically moving.

:: Engage in a sport. - got into boxing! thankful to Rachel. i stopped though but i plan to go back because i am really heavy again.

:: Don't gossip. - errr...i dunno how to address this one. gossiping is, well, subjective. i dunno. i could have kept my mouth shut or otherwise. who cares?

:: Watch movies. - yup i did watch more than what i did in 2004. both dvds and in the theaters. Rachel and Lalaine (and oh, myself, in many movies) were my movie buddies.

:: Save money. - i think i did but it was because of my Mom. i mean she's handling the money all along that's why i got to open my OWN dollar account whose activity i have to work on because it's not a real big sum of money. wala pa sa interest ng ibang dollar account owners, hahaha.

and a few things i did...things i had been:

:: i've mellowed down on this celebrity but i still like her to bits. priorities change but admiration doesn't go away that easy, especially if there is no concrete reason to.

:: i used to blab about liking this politician but in truth, what i love is his affair with another celebrity i also like. i ended up falling for his political officer; a feeling which, thank God, has subsided about 95% when the year ended. thankfully, because not only it's too far-fetched to happen, i saw it for myself that i cannot handle if fate played on me in it's very weird way and say, "o sige nga, what if naging kayo?" hay...sometimes, when you recover from the dizziness of falling in love, you see flaws and clashing attitudes that will make you decide na it's not really meant to happen but...a big but, to be fair, it does not change the other truth that you admire the person. so not to allude him as someone who's hard to be with, kasi he's actually a very wonderful guy. i'm glad that my feelings elevated into something that is of a great friendship na lang, and i can say we happily share it now, so i'm happy na. happy na rin siya. hooray for right-on-time reality stings!

:: i applied for a credit card. it's not been approved but of course it would be. hahaha. di pa lang approved kasi i filed it two working days before the year ends!

:: i cried and shed more tears than i did in, perhaps, the past 5 years combined. my emotional muscles have been in constant use since mga april 2005 ata. it's healthy. good for the heart. therapeutic.

:: i mapped out my life at least until the next five years. nothing's been concrete, lahat are still blueprints but at least i have two or more options ready. galing no. hehe.

:: i tried hard to get the boxed set of Friends, all 10 seasons of it (thankie, Doris!) before Christmas, at least. i did and the year ended and another started with me laughing my heart out. sobrang saya, haha. and bite me, sue me, but i can't help it--i'm a revived Jennifer Aniston fan. see this for further explanation. how long will this fascination last? i dunno. do you?

:: i deliberately skipped an imminent career advancement. some say it's too good to not take but unless you dream of becoming it or you don't have half-baked illusions, then don't. sayang, oo, pero hanggang doon na lang ba ako dahil pinalampas ko? in truth, i don't see myself staying, doing what i presently do, for another two or three years. sabi nga, sana i applied because if i get in, prospects are better outside. pero alam nyo, the job has been to good to me to even think of that. tama na yong nasa ganitong level ako so balanced feelings lang: impressive take-off point to go to another yet not too high a demand to leave easily when you're called to go to some place better. plus i have faith that someone better will be there. i sincerely wish it would be Eiselle because she deserves it (virtual mwah to her!).

a year from now, go back to this post to see if:

...i am a graduate student taking International Studies

...i've travelled to 2 asian countries, at least

...i'm still a Jennifer Aniston/Friends fan

...i'm single and happy

...i weigh 125 pounds

...i'm still on my present job but has brightER prospects abroad (or could be on my way to...?)

...i'm still blogging

...i'm not as cash-strapped as 2005

...i'm still loving all of you, my loyal readers (traffic ko eh 35+ na a day halos, hehe, ang dami grabe...)

Magbalitaan tayo next year!