gastos
oo, magastos ako.
eh nagtatrabaho naman ako eh.
yan ang pinaka-convenient excuse ko sa tuwing dinadalirot ako ng konsensya ko dahil bumili na naman ako ng kung anu-ano. may panahon na impulsive buyer ako pero may panahon na nagkukuripot din o di kaya naghuhunus-dili at napapaisip bago mag-plunge sa isang gastos na baka di ko kayang pangatawanan.
sa maliit kong sweldo, na halos kalahati ay pinapatago ko sa mommy ko (na unti-unti ring kinukuha...), kung hindi libro, dvd (oo, pirated) o pagkain lang ang MADALAS na pinupuntahan ng pera ko. lately, damit at accessories. nagdadalaga na daw ako eh. bwahahahaha. ay hindi, nakalimutan kong pati pala sa cellphone load, malakas akong mag-aksaya ng pera (sa totoo lang, marami ang nagsasabing magpa-linya na lang daw ako sa mobile phone dahil gumagastos ako ng 1,500 sa prepaid load kada buwan, kung gagawin ko daw yung plan/post-paid, baka mas magandang deal pa. ewan ko ba.ayoko kasi magpalit ng number. apat na taon ko ng gamit yung number na yun).
naisip ko, pede nating i-breakdown sa ilang kategorya yung paggastos ko.
a. mga di dapat na hindi bilhin/gastusan. ito ay mga bagay na kailangan. necessity baga, at hindi luxury. pambili ng pananghalian (maliban na lang kung nagbabaon, pero madalas ay hindi), prepaid cellphone at internet cards, at pamasahe. nung nagtutuos ako sa isip kong parang abacus-style, kung ito lang ang gagastusan ko sa loob ng sampung araw na pagitan ng kada sweldo ko, mahigit sa kalahati ng allowance ko (meaning minus the amount na binigay kay inay) ang matitipid ko. pero ano ko, masokista? bakit hindi ako bibili ng iba?
b. mga "pabuwenas" sa sarili. ito yung libro at/o magasin (dapat kada sweldo, meron kahit isa), pirated dvds (or pina-copy na vcds), damit at accessories sa katawan (na pedeng galing sa mall o sa ukay-ukay), at pagkain sa mahal na restawran. ngayon, itong huli ang minsan nahihirapan akong ilagay kung dito ba dapat sa letter b o sa letter a. kasi pagkain eh. sa totoo lang, ang bagay na naubos ko sa pagbili ng pagkain ay di ko kailanman pinanghinayangan. well, yung pagkahilig sa pagkakape para may matambayan sa pagbabasa, mukhang mas clear ang leaning noon sa letter a. pero mabalik ako, sa libro o damit, minsan napapaisip pa ako eh. anyway, pag medyo malaki ang sweldo (halimbawa may OT, may dividend share sa credit union o kaka-bonus lang), i make it a point na ikain ang sarili ko sa hindi naman fast food chain. dati, nung sinisipag ako, pag nang-iindian yung mga kaibigan ko sa makati, iniisa-isa ko yung mga restaurant sa greenbelt 2. oo, ako lang mag-isa.maranasan ko lang anong meron dun, ano lasa ng pagkain, para naman hindi ka bangenge di ba? lately, dahil late na rin lagi lumabas ng opisina, kahit nakaksawa na ang pagkain, sa friday's ako kumakain. parang treat na rin sa sarili mo, dahil hindi ko yun araw-araw pedeng gawin ha. minsan sa mario's (kilala na nga ako nung waiters doon dahil tuwing papasok ako, dun ako agad dinadala sa madalas kong pwestuhan). ang ginagawa ko? nagbabasa o nag-uupdate ng planner. mga dalawang oras ako dun ng paganun-ganun lang. syempre pag hindi carry ng budget, diretso uwi ako 'no. kunyari manonood ng meteor garden. hahahaha...
c. mga bugsong gastos. bihira lang ako magkaganito at pilit ko ngang ginagamot kahit minsan lang ako asintahin ng ganitong sakit. pinakaperpektong halimbawa ang aking spanish lessons sa instituto cervantes. bigla ko lang naisip isang umaga, "ah, mag-aaral ako ng wikang espanyol!" ayun, go ang gaga, tipong nagsign-up ako sabay bayad tapos unang klase na kinabukasan. ayun, awa ng Diyos, apat na meetings na lang kasama ang final exam eh inonse ko na ang natitirang klase. napakahusay. ilang maliliit na manipestasyon pa nito ay yung pagbili ng mga gamit na kaya ko binili ay dahil lang bumili yung isang kakilala ko, at feeling ko ay babagay din sa akin/magagamit ko rin.
d. mga bugsong gastos na buti't napagpipigilan pa rin. pagbili ng bagong computer, ng bagong camera, o di kaya, ang pinakamakatotohanan, ay ang pag-e-enroll sa isang fitness gym. nag-trial workout ako dati (sa sw) at halos kagatin ko yung pinakamurang weight-loss program nila. eh merong bagong magbubukas na mas malapit (yung ff), bah, mas maganda ang amenities, with matching siniraan pa yung sw, so hmmm...isip, isip...ayun, sige, magsa-sign up ako...sabay imagine na ng dulo ng araw mo pagkatapos mong alipinin ang katawan gamit ang mga gym equipments. AYUN, WALA RIN. buti kamo at napagpigilan dahil siguro para sa iba mura (yung mga pa-waive-waive ng joining fee, hohum...) o okay na, pero minsan naisip ko, sayang tlaga ang pera. nagsisimula daw ang pagbabago sa sariling disiplina. kaya ayun.
e. mga gastusing walang kwenta pero masaya ka. naku, hindi na ako mahihiyang aminin na ang halimbawa ko dito eh yung mga school supplies. mahilig ako bumili ng mga balpen, lapis, stationeries, at mga notebook na kikay o kakaiba ang design. isipin nyo, wala naman kasing ganoon nung panahong nasa hayskul ako. walang spongebob squarepants noon, walang winx, walang mga kikay designs (hmmm...mukhang dito magkakapareho kami ni antonia). pede pa din ditong idagdag ang stickers, bookmarks, ID holders at makukulay na plastic envelopes.
sa kabuuan, ang pagiging magastos ko ay hindi pa naman grabe na halos magkanda-utang-utang na. sa totoo lang, wala nga akong credit card eh. ang prinsipyo ko kasi, kung walang pera, wag bumili. mataas ang pride ko, ayoko ng may utang na parang hina-haunt ka tuwing swelduhan. iba siguro yung sa credit union namin kasi pera ko din naman yung nasa capital investment ko, kumbaga, ang pautang lang doon eh yung ipinandoble sa actual amount ng perang naipasok ko. kung nagbabyad man ako buwan-buwan, parang hindi ko na rin nararamdaman kasi pagdating ng payslip eh naikaltas na, kasama na ang kontribusyon na kinakalimutan kong inipon ko doon para may totoong savings naman ako.
hindi pa naman nga grabe, kaya siguro ibgi sabihin, go lang ng go.
Thursday, May 26
secrets (kept hidden from knowledge or view; concealed) i would like to share (to relate to another or others)
1. i secretly rooted for carrie underwood in my office and at home, which are both bo bice territories. yes, i believe she has a rather limited repertoire but there's something about bo bice which i didn't like. but he's on the list of guys who i would consider having for a husband. he's, i think, number 42.
2. using chopsticks is my eating handicap. ever wonder why i eat demurely in any oriental restaurant?
3. i do not use my real name when making food deliveries or ordering at starbucks. i use many different names, from heather to dawn to korina, but one name is most frequently used lately, but i won't tell what it is because it's one of my, well, secrets.
4. i have been practicing the "all that jazz" dance number (think catherine zeta-jones in chicago) since january because i want to suggest to make it one of our unit's presentation in the consular party. hell, we have not won in two straight years!
5. (this coffee shop)'s mango tea frappe simply sucks
6. i am a poser in friendster for this...male. hehe. as far as i know, the profile info is correct (and simply stated) and i never wrote testimonials and never responded to messages from his "friends".
7. i don't know if it's because of hearing eiselle and sandy rave and rant about their children every morning, or seeing kats' bulging tummy, but i really want to have a baby. take note, baby lang ha. it's on the same boat of wanting to be a housewife, concerning myself with what to cook, what colors of the curtain should go with the upholstery, etc (something that went pfft, by the way)
8. just when most things turned for the better, relationship-wise, in my family, i still have a deep urge to strangle a paternal uncle everytime i see him.
9. i lost two pounds
10. i fantasize of going to a mall restroom and find in my cubicle a bagload of money stashed from wherever. i would put the thick bills in my bag, my jeans pocket, anywhere...and i'll pretend nothing happened. then i can splurge. hahahahaha!!!
11. i cry myself to sleep. i think sad thoughts in hypothetical situations, like my husband wanting to leave me and i don't know why, or i make paawa with my ex just to get back to me, yung mga ganung pathetic moments, and then my tears fall down endlessly na. therapeutic yun especially if you've been laughing for most of the day, o di kaya eh harassed sa trabaho
~
i'm going to change my template soon. patty made me a kinda personalized one but i'm still figuring it where to put what best.
thanks to dictionary.com for the word meanings in the post title
~
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
- Speed of Sound, Coldplay
1. i secretly rooted for carrie underwood in my office and at home, which are both bo bice territories. yes, i believe she has a rather limited repertoire but there's something about bo bice which i didn't like. but he's on the list of guys who i would consider having for a husband. he's, i think, number 42.
2. using chopsticks is my eating handicap. ever wonder why i eat demurely in any oriental restaurant?
3. i do not use my real name when making food deliveries or ordering at starbucks. i use many different names, from heather to dawn to korina, but one name is most frequently used lately, but i won't tell what it is because it's one of my, well, secrets.
4. i have been practicing the "all that jazz" dance number (think catherine zeta-jones in chicago) since january because i want to suggest to make it one of our unit's presentation in the consular party. hell, we have not won in two straight years!
5. (this coffee shop)'s mango tea frappe simply sucks
6. i am a poser in friendster for this...male. hehe. as far as i know, the profile info is correct (and simply stated) and i never wrote testimonials and never responded to messages from his "friends".
7. i don't know if it's because of hearing eiselle and sandy rave and rant about their children every morning, or seeing kats' bulging tummy, but i really want to have a baby. take note, baby lang ha. it's on the same boat of wanting to be a housewife, concerning myself with what to cook, what colors of the curtain should go with the upholstery, etc (something that went pfft, by the way)
8. just when most things turned for the better, relationship-wise, in my family, i still have a deep urge to strangle a paternal uncle everytime i see him.
9. i lost two pounds
10. i fantasize of going to a mall restroom and find in my cubicle a bagload of money stashed from wherever. i would put the thick bills in my bag, my jeans pocket, anywhere...and i'll pretend nothing happened. then i can splurge. hahahahaha!!!
11. i cry myself to sleep. i think sad thoughts in hypothetical situations, like my husband wanting to leave me and i don't know why, or i make paawa with my ex just to get back to me, yung mga ganung pathetic moments, and then my tears fall down endlessly na. therapeutic yun especially if you've been laughing for most of the day, o di kaya eh harassed sa trabaho
~
i'm going to change my template soon. patty made me a kinda personalized one but i'm still figuring it where to put what best.
thanks to dictionary.com for the word meanings in the post title
~
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
- Speed of Sound, Coldplay
Tuesday, May 24
splurge
the splurge bug bit me again tonight. it's not the splurge bug like many shopaholics out there; it's my own form of spending that won't even come close to what you can call real spending. it hits me, as i observed, when i plan something (financial-wise), and i find something kinda wrong at the last minute and i decide to put it off permanently. before, i do it because i did save money from not pursuing the plan pero lately, i do it with or without any actual amount saved. hmmm.
even during the "splurge mode", i change my mind pa rin. like, initially i plan on buying a book and spend an hour in a coffee shop. when i got to rob, i bought magazines instead (one of them the march issue of vanity fair, finally) and i drank coffee for an hour. i was about to buy a prepaid card when i bumped into eiselle and well, the rest is history. ha-ha. i only planned to tag along but i ended up buying a blouse and a belt. i was successful in controlling myself, otherwise, i would have bought three pairs of shoes. they're on sale, rarr!
moral of the story, wag na sasama kay eiselle. hehehehe!!!
++
p.s. guys are so random.
what do you think?
are they?
~
for your praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.
the splurge bug bit me again tonight. it's not the splurge bug like many shopaholics out there; it's my own form of spending that won't even come close to what you can call real spending. it hits me, as i observed, when i plan something (financial-wise), and i find something kinda wrong at the last minute and i decide to put it off permanently. before, i do it because i did save money from not pursuing the plan pero lately, i do it with or without any actual amount saved. hmmm.
even during the "splurge mode", i change my mind pa rin. like, initially i plan on buying a book and spend an hour in a coffee shop. when i got to rob, i bought magazines instead (one of them the march issue of vanity fair, finally) and i drank coffee for an hour. i was about to buy a prepaid card when i bumped into eiselle and well, the rest is history. ha-ha. i only planned to tag along but i ended up buying a blouse and a belt. i was successful in controlling myself, otherwise, i would have bought three pairs of shoes. they're on sale, rarr!
moral of the story, wag na sasama kay eiselle. hehehehe!!!
++
p.s. guys are so random.
what do you think?
are they?
~
for your praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.
Sunday, May 22
+untitled+
(before anything else, i corrected two grammatical errors two posts below. i actually saw them as soon as i published the entry but i thought, let it be, people make mistakes, i'm sure no one would notice; or if anyone does, he or she will let it pass. kaya lang, chelli brought it to my attention, calling them "parang-hindi-si-juday" words. so there. i don't care how many more errors are there, and if some of them can pass for correct grammar, eh di carry na. pero yung na-correct ko nga parang, "ngeee, kakahiya".)
i would like to say i have been recharged, having spent my weekend in my sister's new house in cavite. sprawling greens still surround the area and i can only wish it would remain that way because it's really a solace from the city. however, something really bugged especially on that saturday night. it was stupid and i was stupid. nakuu.
no, it's not because of the traumatic videoke session in the basement, hearing the echoes of "wonderpool tunayth", the tagalog version of "boulevard", and "may bukas pa" (this one got me almost going down and tell the singer, "taman a ho yan, sinabi na ngang may bukas pa eh").
as i was saying, what occupied me last saturday was the mistake of telling someone i like him. well, i did say, "i used to" because, as you know, the proud me would never risk a direct form of rejection. like, if he says something that would really offend, i can still console myself with the fact that i said 'it was before'. he was polite enough to say that it's okay and he was actually flattered (i just don't know if he meant it). my close friends told me that it's okay because it's what i felt (rather, i feel, i never had the nerve to use the present tense to him, hay...). it's generally like saying to someone that "you're pronunciation was wrong" or "you annoy me"; it's something that you felt and you just told the person cocnerned. it should be as simple as that.
but it's not. i know it will not sound like the real me writing but instead of getting over it (and let's not forget i didn't get a 'positive' response), i felt i like him more now. it's weird. i feel so cheap (*friends' words echoing 'you're not cheap, you did not hurt anybody, you just said what you feel'*). i tried to divert the attention by setting up my unattached friend with the guy. my friend laughingly told me that she won't bite it or if she would, she will pass him on to me. i really can't get sympathy from my friends, can i? i don't know if the guy is still expecting the supposed date with my friend because if you look at them they can be fit for each other, from their lifestyle to erratic work schedules. as in swak. and i won't really mind if they click, especially if that would make them both happy. see, i'm really a masochist by nature.
i spent my sunday getting giddy everytime my phone receives a text message. before i open the message, i really had this, 'let it be from him, let it be from him' but they were all...nah. zilch. *sighs* i just think it's a normal thing to feel, like waiting for your crush to pass by your school paper's office or the bench where you and your friends usually makes tambay (sorry, can't think of any concrete reference but highschool).
the hopeful side of me thinks that he's a very busy man (yeah right, even on weekends daw) and that he just can't figure out how to either express his feelings or react to...let's call it subtle advances. i would like to leave it at that point and graciously go back to that thought when my 'i feel cheap' feeling is taking a toll on me.
i don't want to feel it anymore but i admit i miss him now. right now. and probably until later in the afternoon till tonight, even tomorrow. hmph. not to be a stalker (in it's figurative sense) but i see pictures of him and feel that he probably likes (or even loves) someone, and won't just admit it to me. i have a friend who 'supplies' me with information about him and many things disappoint me because it's really dampening whatever chance there is, add to that my low self-esteem, perpetually telling me that no, i can't compete, no, it can't be the two of us.
i told him i like(d) him because when he used to call me, i felt good as it's been a long time since someone sincerely asked how i am doing, and spared a few minutes from his busy schedule just to say hi. funny but it never happened again. however, he's always responsive, even apologizing for not being one during a busy day...and i guess my feelings just evolved. life's really a prison when you're inlove alone. naknampuu, let's all just burn our houses and plant camote.
it's been thirteen hours since texts were exchanged. i wish i could bear it but i won't text him till he does it first. it will probably kill me (yeah, yeah) but i need to salvage my very sensitive pride because i haven't told you, but i text him something on saturday night and it's...hahaha, never mind.
(before anything else, i corrected two grammatical errors two posts below. i actually saw them as soon as i published the entry but i thought, let it be, people make mistakes, i'm sure no one would notice; or if anyone does, he or she will let it pass. kaya lang, chelli brought it to my attention, calling them "parang-hindi-si-juday" words. so there. i don't care how many more errors are there, and if some of them can pass for correct grammar, eh di carry na. pero yung na-correct ko nga parang, "ngeee, kakahiya".)
i would like to say i have been recharged, having spent my weekend in my sister's new house in cavite. sprawling greens still surround the area and i can only wish it would remain that way because it's really a solace from the city. however, something really bugged especially on that saturday night. it was stupid and i was stupid. nakuu.
no, it's not because of the traumatic videoke session in the basement, hearing the echoes of "wonderpool tunayth", the tagalog version of "boulevard", and "may bukas pa" (this one got me almost going down and tell the singer, "taman a ho yan, sinabi na ngang may bukas pa eh").
as i was saying, what occupied me last saturday was the mistake of telling someone i like him. well, i did say, "i used to" because, as you know, the proud me would never risk a direct form of rejection. like, if he says something that would really offend, i can still console myself with the fact that i said 'it was before'. he was polite enough to say that it's okay and he was actually flattered (i just don't know if he meant it). my close friends told me that it's okay because it's what i felt (rather, i feel, i never had the nerve to use the present tense to him, hay...). it's generally like saying to someone that "you're pronunciation was wrong" or "you annoy me"; it's something that you felt and you just told the person cocnerned. it should be as simple as that.
but it's not. i know it will not sound like the real me writing but instead of getting over it (and let's not forget i didn't get a 'positive' response), i felt i like him more now. it's weird. i feel so cheap (*friends' words echoing 'you're not cheap, you did not hurt anybody, you just said what you feel'*). i tried to divert the attention by setting up my unattached friend with the guy. my friend laughingly told me that she won't bite it or if she would, she will pass him on to me. i really can't get sympathy from my friends, can i? i don't know if the guy is still expecting the supposed date with my friend because if you look at them they can be fit for each other, from their lifestyle to erratic work schedules. as in swak. and i won't really mind if they click, especially if that would make them both happy. see, i'm really a masochist by nature.
i spent my sunday getting giddy everytime my phone receives a text message. before i open the message, i really had this, 'let it be from him, let it be from him' but they were all...nah. zilch. *sighs* i just think it's a normal thing to feel, like waiting for your crush to pass by your school paper's office or the bench where you and your friends usually makes tambay (sorry, can't think of any concrete reference but highschool).
the hopeful side of me thinks that he's a very busy man (yeah right, even on weekends daw) and that he just can't figure out how to either express his feelings or react to...let's call it subtle advances. i would like to leave it at that point and graciously go back to that thought when my 'i feel cheap' feeling is taking a toll on me.
i don't want to feel it anymore but i admit i miss him now. right now. and probably until later in the afternoon till tonight, even tomorrow. hmph. not to be a stalker (in it's figurative sense) but i see pictures of him and feel that he probably likes (or even loves) someone, and won't just admit it to me. i have a friend who 'supplies' me with information about him and many things disappoint me because it's really dampening whatever chance there is, add to that my low self-esteem, perpetually telling me that no, i can't compete, no, it can't be the two of us.
i told him i like(d) him because when he used to call me, i felt good as it's been a long time since someone sincerely asked how i am doing, and spared a few minutes from his busy schedule just to say hi. funny but it never happened again. however, he's always responsive, even apologizing for not being one during a busy day...and i guess my feelings just evolved. life's really a prison when you're inlove alone. naknampuu, let's all just burn our houses and plant camote.
it's been thirteen hours since texts were exchanged. i wish i could bear it but i won't text him till he does it first. it will probably kill me (yeah, yeah) but i need to salvage my very sensitive pride because i haven't told you, but i text him something on saturday night and it's...hahaha, never mind.
Friday, May 20
i was cleaning my photobucket account when i came across this pic. this is our block picture taken eight years ago, when we were clueless freshmen in UP Manila. ang orcom block 10. in fairness to all of us, matindi na ang transformation namin ngayon. and man, who would ever think na kulang na lang umakyat ako at kumapit sa ano...sa arms! ni oble, para lang sa block pic na itu.
(top, l-r) mich, ahvi, jacs, licette, jazz, MOI, lorda, jen, bam, lovelle; (2nd row) matt, bryan, benjo, anya, berna, yeng, lala, aubrey, freida, dina; (3rd row) chen, din, kidds, ailene, aprille, chris (+), thea, shelley and sheryll
i miss all of them. hay.
~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, e-mail me here.
(top, l-r) mich, ahvi, jacs, licette, jazz, MOI, lorda, jen, bam, lovelle; (2nd row) matt, bryan, benjo, anya, berna, yeng, lala, aubrey, freida, dina; (3rd row) chen, din, kidds, ailene, aprille, chris (+), thea, shelley and sheryll
i miss all of them. hay.
~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, e-mail me here.
Thursday, May 19
There is something about this day.
Little by little, I'm getting lazy again. Must be the weather. Yes, the weather changed, it's been gloomy even around 10 a.m., it would rain by 4, and by the time it gets back to its "it's hot" mode, the day is over. I'm in the house already. Useless.
Hayyyyy. Uwi na tayo.
Kasi naman, I thought Friday na kahapon. Our business closed early, a little after lunch, for the farewell program for our American officers departing Post. Actually, my team went there for the food. Late pa nga kami (and what's new, being at the far end of the building, we always get left behind. We can't complain though, they would just tell us na we're so paimportante, as if we were not informed that the party will start at 2 p.m. Hay.) So after the customary colleague-bashing and one fun game (I joined, and we won, yihee), we ate. It's as ordinary as many of our get-togethers, only this time we get to have it in the famous Ballroom. There were pictures taken, I want to share a few:
with our beloved Consul General. One of the nicest men alive in this galaxy. Variety of poses pa yan a.k.a. di alam where to look a.k.a. halatang sumabit lang kaya nagmamadali. Initially, Rachel and I thought of having our pic with CG eh ayun dami sumabit. Hehe. Hamo na, Rach.
CG with my team minus Tita Beth. Si Tita kasi in the middle of the party bumalik ba naman sa office at nagtrabaho? Grabe, sipag. Or na-bore sya sa mga nangyari.
my sinister sisters. the women who make me want to come to the office everyday kahit not an iota of interest to work ang drama ko. Pictures can lie, they are more cunning and dangerous in person. Hehe. Lalo na yan si E (middle). Mas lalo ang misteryoso pero pang-Pulitzer Prize ang hirit na si Sandy (left)...na tinotolerate ang paggaya ng six-year old son nya kay Bo Bice.
our office's version ng Olsen Twins. Hehe. Tama bang mapagkamalang kambal kami. Tita Miles tlaga. Yan ang mga pose na influence sa akin ni Rachel. Malugod nyang ipinagkatiwala ang pinakakaingatang complete cd set ng Meteor Garden 1 at Meteor Rain. Dahil din sa kanya kilala ko na si Lee Hom. In the next few months, pag nagpaalam ako para pumunta ng Taiwan, Hongkong o Japan para manood ng F4, you know who I'll be with....
O eto. Si Valentina nung tame pa ang mga ahas.
Walking Embarrassment
The heavy downpour caught us in the middle of Roxas Boulevard. Syempre nung una kahit pademure ang lakad, it won't be so comfortable pag mabigat na yung lower part ng denim pants mo kasi basa na. At pati yung suede high heels mo eh basa na rin, sige lakad lang. Kasi when you're drenched in rainwater, it's the perfect excuse to buy a new pair of jeans and a pair of sandals. Sige, lakad. Eto na...palibhasa walang pera pangsosyal, we got Tita Beth to come with us kasi meron syang discount card sa Bench. Sukat, sukat. I bought one soft pants and two pairs of cool slippers. Sinuot ko na yung pants and slippers kasi di ko na ma-take yung itsura ko. Eto ngayon, habang nakapila sa cashier:
Me (to the guy na naka-blue shirt at may spiky hair) Here's my pants and my shoes, eto yung tags, sinuot ko na yung bibilhin ko...
Guy (points to the girl in front him, EH KASI HINDI PALA SYA SALES STAFF): Miss....
Me (realizing my mistake): Ah ok...actually, KINUKUWENTO KO LANG SA'YO, ikaw naman (sabay smile)...
So, I paid na. We saw some of our officemates and we chatted for a while then nung palabas na, nag-beep yung sensor. BEEEEPP!! Lahat tinginan sa'kin. Syempre, ako, "Hoy, binayaran ko na 'to 'no??" then yun...ginawa ko yung isang purchase ko muna...(to the sensor)zhwing...silent...yung isa siguro..zwhing ulit...silent ulit...ah, baka yung sandals na suot ko...(stretches feet) zhwing...silent talaga...so it should be the pants I'm wearing. The sales staff was kind enough to tell me that they know I already paid, ang prob lang, magbibeep everytime I pass any sensor stand sa buong mall. Fine. So I went back to the fitting room, took the pants off, and there it was, the little barcode thingy stuck near the zipper. Hay. Big fuss.
Out of frustration, napakain tuloy ako. As in I feel I can get through my fruit diet, two days na lang eh, nag-guilty pleasure pa ako. Isang malaking plato ng carbonara. Alam nyo yung feeling na yun, you think na what you did or what happened was so embarrassing, pero ikaw lang pala nag-iisip nun. People who were there actually thought it was funny or when you parted, they eventually forgot about it, too. Pero no matter how much they tell you na it didn't matter, still, there's something that tugs you na "Holy cow, nakakahiya!" (Frankly, naghahanap lang ako ng superficial excuse kung bakit napakain ako ng madami kagabi. Halata ba?)
Hay.
Uwi na tayo.
~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here. (I noticed that the entries are gone, I haven't figured out what the prob is, but just keep them coming. I love hearing from all of you.)
Little by little, I'm getting lazy again. Must be the weather. Yes, the weather changed, it's been gloomy even around 10 a.m., it would rain by 4, and by the time it gets back to its "it's hot" mode, the day is over. I'm in the house already. Useless.
Hayyyyy. Uwi na tayo.
Kasi naman, I thought Friday na kahapon. Our business closed early, a little after lunch, for the farewell program for our American officers departing Post. Actually, my team went there for the food. Late pa nga kami (and what's new, being at the far end of the building, we always get left behind. We can't complain though, they would just tell us na we're so paimportante, as if we were not informed that the party will start at 2 p.m. Hay.) So after the customary colleague-bashing and one fun game (I joined, and we won, yihee), we ate. It's as ordinary as many of our get-togethers, only this time we get to have it in the famous Ballroom. There were pictures taken, I want to share a few:
with our beloved Consul General. One of the nicest men alive in this galaxy. Variety of poses pa yan a.k.a. di alam where to look a.k.a. halatang sumabit lang kaya nagmamadali. Initially, Rachel and I thought of having our pic with CG eh ayun dami sumabit. Hehe. Hamo na, Rach.
CG with my team minus Tita Beth. Si Tita kasi in the middle of the party bumalik ba naman sa office at nagtrabaho? Grabe, sipag. Or na-bore sya sa mga nangyari.
my sinister sisters. the women who make me want to come to the office everyday kahit not an iota of interest to work ang drama ko. Pictures can lie, they are more cunning and dangerous in person. Hehe. Lalo na yan si E (middle). Mas lalo ang misteryoso pero pang-Pulitzer Prize ang hirit na si Sandy (left)...na tinotolerate ang paggaya ng six-year old son nya kay Bo Bice.
our office's version ng Olsen Twins. Hehe. Tama bang mapagkamalang kambal kami. Tita Miles tlaga. Yan ang mga pose na influence sa akin ni Rachel. Malugod nyang ipinagkatiwala ang pinakakaingatang complete cd set ng Meteor Garden 1 at Meteor Rain. Dahil din sa kanya kilala ko na si Lee Hom. In the next few months, pag nagpaalam ako para pumunta ng Taiwan, Hongkong o Japan para manood ng F4, you know who I'll be with....
O eto. Si Valentina nung tame pa ang mga ahas.
Walking Embarrassment
The heavy downpour caught us in the middle of Roxas Boulevard. Syempre nung una kahit pademure ang lakad, it won't be so comfortable pag mabigat na yung lower part ng denim pants mo kasi basa na. At pati yung suede high heels mo eh basa na rin, sige lakad lang. Kasi when you're drenched in rainwater, it's the perfect excuse to buy a new pair of jeans and a pair of sandals. Sige, lakad. Eto na...palibhasa walang pera pangsosyal, we got Tita Beth to come with us kasi meron syang discount card sa Bench. Sukat, sukat. I bought one soft pants and two pairs of cool slippers. Sinuot ko na yung pants and slippers kasi di ko na ma-take yung itsura ko. Eto ngayon, habang nakapila sa cashier:
Me (to the guy na naka-blue shirt at may spiky hair) Here's my pants and my shoes, eto yung tags, sinuot ko na yung bibilhin ko...
Guy (points to the girl in front him, EH KASI HINDI PALA SYA SALES STAFF): Miss....
Me (realizing my mistake): Ah ok...actually, KINUKUWENTO KO LANG SA'YO, ikaw naman (sabay smile)...
So, I paid na. We saw some of our officemates and we chatted for a while then nung palabas na, nag-beep yung sensor. BEEEEPP!! Lahat tinginan sa'kin. Syempre, ako, "Hoy, binayaran ko na 'to 'no??" then yun...ginawa ko yung isang purchase ko muna...(to the sensor)zhwing...silent...yung isa siguro..zwhing ulit...silent ulit...ah, baka yung sandals na suot ko...(stretches feet) zhwing...silent talaga...so it should be the pants I'm wearing. The sales staff was kind enough to tell me that they know I already paid, ang prob lang, magbibeep everytime I pass any sensor stand sa buong mall. Fine. So I went back to the fitting room, took the pants off, and there it was, the little barcode thingy stuck near the zipper. Hay. Big fuss.
Out of frustration, napakain tuloy ako. As in I feel I can get through my fruit diet, two days na lang eh, nag-guilty pleasure pa ako. Isang malaking plato ng carbonara. Alam nyo yung feeling na yun, you think na what you did or what happened was so embarrassing, pero ikaw lang pala nag-iisip nun. People who were there actually thought it was funny or when you parted, they eventually forgot about it, too. Pero no matter how much they tell you na it didn't matter, still, there's something that tugs you na "Holy cow, nakakahiya!" (Frankly, naghahanap lang ako ng superficial excuse kung bakit napakain ako ng madami kagabi. Halata ba?)
Hay.
Uwi na tayo.
~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here. (I noticed that the entries are gone, I haven't figured out what the prob is, but just keep them coming. I love hearing from all of you.)
Tuesday, May 17
blah
i'm so busy lately, i'm loving it. i don't feel like going home at 9 am, i don't feel sleepy.
i'm going back to my reading pace.
i'm confused again. i thought it's easy to turn my back from it, but when it's there...he's there, an invisible hand grasps my feet, i can't run.
i'm going to do it for you even if it kinda hurts. at the back of my mind (which is purely my fantasy), i think that this is just your way of getting to me.
i'm happy that my pretty friend and i are okay again.
i lost two pounds. but i may gain around 5-6 next week. too many foodfests.
my desk is clean, i think i'm gonna puke. i'm so not used to it.
i wonder how's erwin doing in baltimore. i miss him. gago, hindi nagparamdam bago umalis, nag-promise pa naman sa amin. di pa naman nya alam size ng paa ko. hmph.
i think if i'm asked to marry (insert name of lower house legislator here, and no, not mar roxas 'coz he's obviously, uhm, from the upper house, ayt?), i'm going to go for it. i just wanna take care of him. i dunno. weird. i must really be looking for a father figure. bwark.
~~~~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.
i'm so busy lately, i'm loving it. i don't feel like going home at 9 am, i don't feel sleepy.
i'm going back to my reading pace.
i'm confused again. i thought it's easy to turn my back from it, but when it's there...he's there, an invisible hand grasps my feet, i can't run.
i'm going to do it for you even if it kinda hurts. at the back of my mind (which is purely my fantasy), i think that this is just your way of getting to me.
i'm happy that my pretty friend and i are okay again.
i lost two pounds. but i may gain around 5-6 next week. too many foodfests.
my desk is clean, i think i'm gonna puke. i'm so not used to it.
i wonder how's erwin doing in baltimore. i miss him. gago, hindi nagparamdam bago umalis, nag-promise pa naman sa amin. di pa naman nya alam size ng paa ko. hmph.
i think if i'm asked to marry (insert name of lower house legislator here, and no, not mar roxas 'coz he's obviously, uhm, from the upper house, ayt?), i'm going to go for it. i just wanna take care of him. i dunno. weird. i must really be looking for a father figure. bwark.
~~~~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.
Wednesday, May 11
pahiya
again, it could just be the proud side of me. i feel this most of the time yet my friends think that i just overreact.
i formally believe (as if there's "informally believing" eh?) that this *insert his name* moment is over. it's just like any moment most of you have had. a period of crazy exchange of words, favors and opinions about anything. it's bound to end, unless it's meant to prosper into something beautiful. finished are the days of being there for you instantly, even if it's just a text message. i cannot judge what the other party must have felt because i can only say what was mine. yes, it was a moment of waking up in the morning wishing that things would be more than what was happening. i felt it dwindling too but realization hits you well when you feel that the other person must have been over the moment, too. after the makulit moments, after one favor that was obviously a bulok style, yes...this moment is over. in a matter of days, i could just dismiss the memory by smiling, or maybe laughing out loud...why not?
i have to pick the pieces little by little. i have to get used to checking my phone and no text from him would be there. it will pass, until i'm completely over it.
come to think of it, it's not even something to be serious about. it's just, well, particularly special, because you kinda ignore the others, and focus on this one. precisely because of the moment.
what probably bothers me is the idea that there was never that moment at all. who knows, if he's like that to everyone? but for someone as dense as i am, how could i have felt that there was something?
gee. still, there could have been no moment at all. feeling na naman ako. tsk.
(i feel good after spilling out details like this. i guess i should work on raising my self-esteem. i really don't feel good about myself, especially after rejections from the opposite sex. i know what i have, and what i can do, but i constantly feel i lack something that's...more superficially important. yeah, i should be ashamed by thinking this way. however, it's something that you feel and you can't deny it. some people rarely appreciates how good a conversationalist you are, how gentle you become when you care for someone...because they take what they initially see. that's what i feel, really. it's just unfortunate that i can't choose them not to come my way because they always do.)
~ ~ ~
fantastic moment of the day: my boss is assigned in the other office today so i am acting OIC. three cleared officers connected with the technical team approached me to remind that we should not lock our doors after we leave for their maintenance upgrade. i didn't understand why they had that look. it was too late to realize that i was cradling my newest stuffed tigger from tita ditos. the toy has been sitting comfortably on my lap as i type so i didn't have time to put it away. and i even forgot the toy was there. well, that's 100 maturity points for today!
~
Praises, violent reactions and everything in between here.
again, it could just be the proud side of me. i feel this most of the time yet my friends think that i just overreact.
i formally believe (as if there's "informally believing" eh?) that this *insert his name* moment is over. it's just like any moment most of you have had. a period of crazy exchange of words, favors and opinions about anything. it's bound to end, unless it's meant to prosper into something beautiful. finished are the days of being there for you instantly, even if it's just a text message. i cannot judge what the other party must have felt because i can only say what was mine. yes, it was a moment of waking up in the morning wishing that things would be more than what was happening. i felt it dwindling too but realization hits you well when you feel that the other person must have been over the moment, too. after the makulit moments, after one favor that was obviously a bulok style, yes...this moment is over. in a matter of days, i could just dismiss the memory by smiling, or maybe laughing out loud...why not?
i have to pick the pieces little by little. i have to get used to checking my phone and no text from him would be there. it will pass, until i'm completely over it.
come to think of it, it's not even something to be serious about. it's just, well, particularly special, because you kinda ignore the others, and focus on this one. precisely because of the moment.
what probably bothers me is the idea that there was never that moment at all. who knows, if he's like that to everyone? but for someone as dense as i am, how could i have felt that there was something?
gee. still, there could have been no moment at all. feeling na naman ako. tsk.
(i feel good after spilling out details like this. i guess i should work on raising my self-esteem. i really don't feel good about myself, especially after rejections from the opposite sex. i know what i have, and what i can do, but i constantly feel i lack something that's...more superficially important. yeah, i should be ashamed by thinking this way. however, it's something that you feel and you can't deny it. some people rarely appreciates how good a conversationalist you are, how gentle you become when you care for someone...because they take what they initially see. that's what i feel, really. it's just unfortunate that i can't choose them not to come my way because they always do.)
~ ~ ~
fantastic moment of the day: my boss is assigned in the other office today so i am acting OIC. three cleared officers connected with the technical team approached me to remind that we should not lock our doors after we leave for their maintenance upgrade. i didn't understand why they had that look. it was too late to realize that i was cradling my newest stuffed tigger from tita ditos. the toy has been sitting comfortably on my lap as i type so i didn't have time to put it away. and i even forgot the toy was there. well, that's 100 maturity points for today!
~
Praises, violent reactions and everything in between here.
Monday, May 9
What do you do if you miss someone so bad?
What do you do if you miss someone so bad but your set-up makes it inappropriate to let you do the first move of telling (this person) what you feel?
What do you do if you miss someone so bad but your set-up makes it inappropriate to let you do the first move of telling (this person) what you feel yet deep down inside you there screams someone saying that (this person) could be missing you too?
Is too much C2 (Green Tea, Lemon Flavor) bad for your health?
Why does AJ Eigenmann look darn pretty when dressed as a female? And why does he look handsome as a male? Tell me, where is justice in this world? Judging from looks alone, if my future kids would be as attractive as those Eigenmann boys, I would not mind having plenty. It's like my greatest aesthetic contribution to the human race.
If you like someone (a celebrity) and you get a chance to be with that person for one day, would you bite? What if you like this celebrity secretly? What would you choose, fulfilling your secret wish or risking that your other friends know you like this person (who most of your friends abhor?)
~
Praises, violent reactions and everything in between here.
What do you do if you miss someone so bad but your set-up makes it inappropriate to let you do the first move of telling (this person) what you feel?
What do you do if you miss someone so bad but your set-up makes it inappropriate to let you do the first move of telling (this person) what you feel yet deep down inside you there screams someone saying that (this person) could be missing you too?
Is too much C2 (Green Tea, Lemon Flavor) bad for your health?
Why does AJ Eigenmann look darn pretty when dressed as a female? And why does he look handsome as a male? Tell me, where is justice in this world? Judging from looks alone, if my future kids would be as attractive as those Eigenmann boys, I would not mind having plenty. It's like my greatest aesthetic contribution to the human race.
If you like someone (a celebrity) and you get a chance to be with that person for one day, would you bite? What if you like this celebrity secretly? What would you choose, fulfilling your secret wish or risking that your other friends know you like this person (who most of your friends abhor?)
~
Praises, violent reactions and everything in between here.
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