ennui

this is nothing new to me but funny that i still feel strange everytime it dawns upon me.

have you ever been bored to death? that of all the pleasure tools (yeah baby, tools) around you, you still feel sooo lost thinking of what to do? i wonder what insanity concern this falls under.

i've always complained i need more time to do some things. now that it's here, i won't move a muscle. if you call this my warm up period, then i would be all geared up around sunday afternoon, rendering the effort useless because monday is back to work hell day. i guess i should only be telling this to myself.

i spent the first day of my four-day break going through a small box of books that my sister's mom sent me. i sorted them by author then by my level of interest. as always the case, the most number were written by danielle steel and even though i have nothing against her writing and her glamour back cover shots, i read only like 4 or 5 of her books in my lifetime. to date, i have around 35 of her novels. if i'll be stranded in an island with all her books in tow, i might give them a shot. or i could ignore it while this extreme case of ennui sets in, for reasons i do not know at all.

after that, i took a shower and watched notting hill hoping to feel that tingle in my stomach also known as, yeah, kilig. i slightly felt it but they vanished when joy called me. i then spent two hours listening to what happened yesterday in the office (her gracious attempt to fill me in), butting in a few times, while eating chocolate bars (yes, plural) and clipping my nails in between. she had an incoming call who i assume is her boyfriend so i prepared myself to install the computer mouse that lai gave me (yes lai, finally) and be on a roll typing my promise to my friends. until i remembered that it was the gilmore girls marathon in studio 23. eleven episodes in 9 long hours. i turned on the tv and let 9 hours pass by just like that. i did occasional naps in between but i mostly caught a great chunk of the run.

after the marathon and feeling like a zombie, i ate dinner, soundtripped for a while then go online.

it must have been a picture of a rest day but i am still so so so bored. it overwhelmes me that the idea of sitting in front of the computer typing occasionally then staring at it for about three minutes before typing again is deemed normal.