MAE ANNE

This is my way of making up to Mae Anne, for forgetting to greet her on her special day on the 17th. Contrary to her Friendster testimonial to me, my occasional dimwittedness made me forget her day. Ugh! Sorry Dimple!

I first planned to send her a funny e-card but I thought it would be so cheesy or corny, or both, and a bit impersonal, as if justifying that I forgot her birthday. So here I am.

Mae Anne and I never met. We got acquainted in a way in 2000 because her brother was my boyfriend (unfortunately? Joke lang, Pau!) at that time. We used to write letters to each other, and I vividly remember her Pooh cutouts that she pastes on her Pooh statios, enclosed in a Pooh envelope. Hahahaha! She is one sweet girl and even if things didn't work well between her (eccentric) kuya and me, we remained in touch, though not regularly, and she has maintained her thoughtful ways.

Dimple, I am so sorry for forgetting your birthday! I know I missed being one of the first to make it to your phone inbox with my greeting. But I want you to know that you will remain one special person to me. I appreciate your caring effort to text me heartwarming messages out of the blue, to include me in your e-mail list when something new comes up or you have something new to share.

I wish you success and I am amazed how time flies so fast! It seems like yesterday when your brother and I would talk about your fondness for Archie comics, your piano lessons and recital, the way you put your arms on Paulo's shoulder and he complains because it's 'heavy' (OA tlaga yang kuya mo! :P)...

Basta always remember andito lang ako when you believe I can be of help. I will always be here as your "Ate".

Happy birthday and I love you! Mwah!

DILEMMA

Without further ado and those other wishy-washy intro, I am proud to say that I received a Meritoriuos Step Increase citation today. It was a bit posh of a celebration, unlike the previous one in November (which reminds me that I almost just started blogging when we received that Group Franklin citation). If we had canned sodas and brownies and shanghai sticks before, now we have fruit cups and all those finger food only found in civil society parties. Hahahahaha!!

Anyway, I knew about the citation but no matter how overwhelming it is, lutang nga ako eh--windang--kaya, wala lang. I almost forgot all about it, until I casually asked Tita Beth if it will push through--mind you, not because of the motivation of being awarded such, but because of the increase in pay after it has taken effect. Grabe, mukhang pera talaga ko, hehe.

I was reading again and again the justification part in my nomination sheet and I could not believe that I actually deserve the nomination, much less the award. No kidding. The height na ba ng sister ni Henry Sy (Hypocri Sy)? I just did not expect that the extent of my work will be noticed. If that is the case, humility aside, I could have done more and performed better.

Anyhow, the greedy side of me would think that the citation is long overdue. I have been performing in a capacity that is almost a grade and a half below my personal pay grade. Pero wala pa ring gaanong effect whether I get it soon or later pa.

I have opened this fact to my supervisor a couple of days ago. I compared my feelings toward my job to my feelings for a suitor--tipong I know that I love you because you have everything that I look for...but I can't seem to tap kung ano yung right buttons to push in my heart to trigger the feelings. I really have no passion...not just with this..but with everything that I do. I would like to believe I lost it 9 years ago and I have made attempts to regain it but all of them were futile. Yes, I do feel happy, overwhelmed...and I have worked well under pressure but it's not just it. I do not want to subject all my tasks under extreme pressure just to have me perform an extraordinary job. I want to do it because I want to. Since sophomore high, until college especially, I sigh at every lost chance that I could have done better, done something sooner, done extremely well to yield better results.

I am so confused while I should be happy and kinda contented with what's going on in my career. Erwin told me that I should learn to dislike the opposite of what I do now, to be able to appreciate it more. And of course, who likes to be jobless noh? But on second thought...being unemployed means more time for me to read, more time to sleep, more time to surf and chat, more time to watch TV and DVDs, more time to just sit here and daydream. OMG, is that what I want to do?

Well, before I turn completely insane, I have to say I am amazed by the support I got from my co-workers. My team, most especially...kahit na si Eiselle ginawan ng kababalaghan yung camera ko..wala tuloy akong evidence of the event today...wahahahahaha!!! Seriously, I was touched by the looks of our chief, the Consul General who winked at me after receiving the award and of course, our deputy chief who I will terribly miss, despite her being so stiff and stoic with some cases. This is the sweetest that I got so far, a couple of minutes after the reception:

-----Original Message-----
From: Simmons, Barry K
Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2004 4:39 PM
To: Octavo, Judith D
Subject: Congrats

Congratulations Judith. I took 2 photos of you receiving your award from the DCM, but I was very far away and the flash worked on only one of the photos. You can be certain that the official photographer got a MUCH better photo of you than I did. Too bad your camera didn't have a zoom lens!

Barry

I just replied that it's so sweet of him and I hope that he, Jossie (his wife) and I would get-together soon.

On the lighter side of today's event, my head still hurts from the effect of too much hair spray. I don't know how Korina Sanchez managed to hold all that spray in her hair in her entire broadcasting career. It was my same complaint last November (see first few entries in Nov 2003) and boy, it never gets better! I feel it seeping the strands of my hair and stiffening my head as if a very tight helmet was put into it. That's the dear price I have to pay for keeping my little curls from standing and waving to the crowd.

I also had lunch with Chelli, Tita Beth, Tita Patsy and Tina Malone. It was our going away treat for Tina and Tita Patsy. It was a great lunch, lots of laughs...especially with Tina's "she has to get a yaya because she has a 4-year old tornado". Tina is one funny lady, aside from being super nice and super diligent with work...the only one who can think of advertising in the Jeepney Journal for her "SUPER YAYA". I'm sure Addis Ababa will be happy to have her.

That's all for now. I am so tired and I have not gotten over my one cup of Nesvita this morning. Yaiks.

TINATAMAD

current state: tinatamad. as always.

mga songs na hindi matanggal sa isipan: dalawang hindi ko alam ang title pero medyo may kalumaan sya at pang-videoke bar.

yung isa goes like this:

i'm caught between goodbye and i love you..never knowing quite where i stand...i'm caught between goodbye and i love you, falling both ways, no where to land(?)...so constantly stranded, i can't understand it, this double life you've handed (?) me, it's like the devil in the deep blue sea...

eto naman yung isa:

and it seems that love always finds a reason to keep me here believin' when I feel our love is slipping away...and it seems that love always finds a reason to make us stay and even through the darkest night the feeling survives...and you know when you look at me you'll find the reason in my eyes

wala lang. paulit-ulit sa isip ko. kasi may nagpeplay na cd sa workstation ko...and the ever-polite erwin asked me..."dith...favor...pwede change mo nman yung disc mo?"

wahahahahaha. kaya siguro nag-kape itong si erwin. di man lang nakapag-afternoon nap, gaya namin ni eiselle. hahahaha, ang mga empleyado ng embahada talaga.

ooops, past 1 pm na. balik trabaho (kunyari).

PANAKIP BUTAS

Tinatamad pa akong maglagay ng entry kahit madami na sa outline ko. O di ba, may outline pa. Hmmm. Tyagaan na lang muna natin ang mga ito:

I AM 64% EVIL GENIUS! Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings. Take the EVIL GENIUS test at Fuali.com

Ngwek ngwek ngwek.

O, eto pa:

I AM 46% GEEK! You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing. Take the GEEK test at Fuali.com

Don't know what to say.

Hay, inaantok na ako.

THIS BLOG IS UNDERGOING CONSTRUCTION

With a whim and some subtle persuasion by my chat bestfriends, I changed my blog template. Just expect the necessary changes by the end of the week.

Ha, it's been a while. I missed a week and a half, my thoughts on Mother's Day, how I became the most evil neighbor in this side of the planet, my election observation expie, my thoughts on Mar Roxas, my unforgettable happy hour with Erwin and Eiselle and the cheesy stuff about "turning points" and "professional motivation."

See you in a while.

yet another week
and i'm updating this on a weekly basis...what a life...harumph

monday--

i forgot what happened.

tuesday--

i forgot what happened.

wednesday--

funny, but i forgot what happened too. if there's anyone who cares enough to remind me, please do so.

thursday--

payday. fun! take your child to work day. chelli brought raf and gab. i got a big bag of fish crackers.

lunch at emerald.

hepa b screening. finally bought the two vanity fair issues i've beeen raving about, the one with george clooney in a yacht and the cast of will & grace and queer eye for a straight guy...

and one book on sale:



friday--

andrea bocelli's concert. patrick's last day. i wil miss the guy. he's annoyingly fun and cruel. he's the original redford white look-a-like way before the smiling polio pascual.

saturday--

ate liza, kuya roger and mama remy came. i've given up the cheesiness (if there's ever a term such as this) of danielle steel but i'm thankful for 7 hardbound books of hers that i got as pasalubong.

watched As Good As It Gets. i loved it. i finally heard the classic, "Carol the waitress, Simon the fag" and "You make me want to be a better man."

sunday--

an amazing cute kilig moment in a tabloid. i went to ate liza in crame and i gave her my new globe sim. in turn, i got the wonderful gifts yet! i now have:



and gap scents too...because what chelli gave me is almost giving up. and a box of chocolates from dad with "to my pretty girl" on top...hehehe, my dad is just so cool.