oh.my.gosh.



july 11...isn't it a monday? a workday?! tsk.

~

i'm still enjoying my multiply account.

you can do more things in it rather than just blog.

my journal entries are all here.

R&R?

This blog will rest until I got tired of this not-so-new hype (I'm really just too late about things like this, hehe) they call Multiply. I just find myself enjoying nitty-gritty stuff that you can put there, all in one page, and not just blog your time away. But this will be my main blog. Pagpapahingahin lang natin for a while. ;)

http://juditigger.multiply.com

Where were you on Friday?

I so wanted to go home if not for the thrift shop (ukay-ukay) trip along P. Faura with my officemates. Turned out, the stores weren't that good. Plus, I was supposed to meet Kryzzy and Leahmay for something that they brought.

I half-heartedly wanted to go to the HH at the Marine House but I didn't. We all didn't.

Then I just knew today....

THAT KYAN DOUGLAS AND THOM FELICIA DROPPED BY THE PARTY. WE MISSED THEM!!!!

AND NOW THEY LEFT AND THE NEXT HH IS STILL ON THE 24TH!!!

@#!*#@#!*#@#!*#@#!*#

So Susan never gets tired of telling us..."I told you to go, I told you to go, I told you...."

The queers missed the queers. Hahaha....Hay.

~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.

apathetic

=originally posted in my xanga dahil nag-iinarte at tinotopak ang blogger nung nasa mood akong mag-type...

(Hay, dapat tatapusin ko yung inuwi kong trabaho pero as usual, tinamad ako. Sabi ko kunyari sa sarili ko papasok na lang ako ng maaga bukas para matapos sila, para pag simula na ng official time, all systems go ako kasabay ng ibang staff ko. Siyempre, ginago ko na naman ang sarili ko.)

Anyway, naisip ko nung Friday na ako eh nilikha talagang isang mababaw na tao. Yung hindi mo pwedeng isabak sa mga intellectual intercourse na ang mga paksa ay demokrasya, politika, ekonomiya, o kahit simpleng tungkol sa buhay at kamatayan. Parang gamay lang ako maging opinionated sa buhay ni ___________. Kawawa ba ako pag ganun? Paano pag masaya naman ako?

Ang apathetic daw kasi yung walang pakialam. Well, may pakialam naman ako, hindi nga lang tulad ng level ng pakikialam ng tao sa ibang bagay. Baka naiinsecure lang ako...na yung isang mundong gusto kong maging bahagi, not as a player but as an observer and hopefully, an opinion-molder, eh hindi ko mapagtagumpayan. Kahit man lang entry-level ba.

Nagtapos ako sa UP pero parang wala akong paninindigan. Parang wala akong matigas na opinyon tungkol sa mga bagay na dapat eh aware ako. Regardless of whose side I'm on, ang bottom line doon eh yung meron kang paninindigan, no matter how unpopular your choice might be. Ako parang walang ganoon eh. Kasi nga, wala akong pakialam. Ang masakit minsan tanggapin eh yung gustung-gusto kong makialam pero parang walang may sense na lumalabas sa bibig ko, na turo ng utak ko. Normal ba yun?

Teka, paano ba nasusukat ang pagkakaroon ng pakialam ng isang tao sa nangyayari sa Pilipinas? Sa mga attendance mo sa nagdaang EDSA? Eto, subok lang. Sa palagay ko, malayong malayo ang EDSA 1 doon sa dalawang sumunod. Dun sa pangalawa, ang ikinapareho lang nila e may umalis na namumuno at napalitan ng bago sa pamamagitan ng di marahas na paraan. Yun lang. Yung pangatlo...errr...hindi sila magka-liga. I feel that the spirit of EDSA 1 has long been damned ever since people got used to bringing to the streets whatever dissatisfaction they feel about the present government. Uy, opinyon ba yan?

Mai-share ko lang, yung tatlong "EDSA People Power" na lumipas eh dumaan lang sa buhay ko ng basta ganun. Wala akong vivid memories na naging bahagi ako noon, not that I wish meron...well, if only to create a more solid foundation of what I should stand for, baka pwede na.
Yung EDSA 1 (naku pwede bang People Power na lang), isa akong walang muwang na bata noon sa Bago Bantay, Quezon City. Wala ako ni isang alaala ng nangyari. Ang mga magulang ko naman ay hindi ganoon ka-keen na mamulat sa kasaysayan ang anak nila kaya wala silang gaanong kuwento na kung meron man, eh tulad na rin ng nasa textbooks ko nung nag-elementary ako.

Nung pangalawa na, college na ako noon. Nanonood ako ng impeachment trial kasi ang curfew ko noon ay alas-sais ng gabi at natanggap ko na ring substitute ng Balitang K ang impeachment proceedings. Live ko ding napanood yung pagboto ng 11 senators para wag buksan ang envelope at siguro nga, may bahagi ng pagiging Pinoy ko yung napamura ako nung ngumiwi si Justice Davide sabay sambit na, "The 'No' votes have it." Nagsimula ang text barrage noon na mag-itim daw bukas pagpasok at kung pwede nga eh dumiretso na sa EDSA. Ang pakatanda ko, hindi ako nag-itim noon dahil hindi ako mahilig sa itim na blouse (so halos wala akong damit na ganon) at hindi rin ako pumunta sa EDSA. Nung ikalawang araw na at parang na-predict na papadami na ang taong nagvivigil sa EDSA, pagkatapos ng Debate class namin, sugod ang mga kaklase ko sa EDSA; de sasakyan pa nga yung iba eh. Hindi ko pumunta kasi,

1. Malapit na ang exam week noon at isang makapal na reading materials ang dala ko. Hassle yun na nag-rarally kayo tapos may bitbit kang ganun, at

2. Birthday ko yun. Enough said! Kaya habang kumakapal ang tao sa EDSA, ayun at dalawang beses pa namin pinanood ng barkada ko ang Remember The Titans ni Denzel Washington pagkatapos naming kumain sa Kenny Rogers. Kiber. (Pero ang isa sa kasama ko noon sa loob ng sinehan ay ang barkada kong namamayagpag na tagapamahayag ngayon ng Bulatlat. Si Aubrey Makilan po !)

So yun, nung nag-resume ang klase, bago na ang pangulo at nakita ko pa syang iniinterview ni Korina Sanchez, PGMA's very first, na sa halip na seryosohin ang mga general plan of action nya eh mas nag-enjoy akong tingnan si Korina na malaki ang eyebags at nangangalirang ang buhok at obviously eh di pa naliligo, tulad ng lahat na nagcover ng pangayaring iyon. Natatandaan ko pa yung mga posters sa CAS ng UP na, "President Arroyo, the presidency was given to you in a silver platter. We will be watching you!" At yun nga, apat na buwan pa lang sa puwesto, gumulo na kaagad.

Yung ikatlong event na nagkataong nagtipon-tipon lang sila sa EDSA ( hmmm...), nasa bahay lang ako noon. In fairness to me, ako naman eh nagpuyat din doon at sinamantala ang pagkakataon para matapos ang group project namin sa Statistics class (ni Sir Javelosa na napagtanto kong kamukha ni Jamie Kennedy) habang kumakain ng V-Cut at Magnolia Mango Juice (o, tanda ko pa yan!). Alert kami noon dahil nakatira kami malapit sa Malacañang at Pandacan Oil Depot, eh di ba nga at pumaligid doon yung drone of drugged supporters na nanggulo at nagbasag sa Avenida at Legarda, at kung saan saan pa?

Pagkatapos noon, nag-eleksyon, wala rin akong pakialam. Carry lang. Hanggang sa religiously na uli ako nanonood ng balita dahil may paborito akong newscaster pero hindi pa rin sapat yun. Nung naging bahagi nga ako ng election observer's team ng pinatatrabahuhan ko nitong 2004, wala man lang excitement sa buto ko na "I'm part of a relevant democratic exercise!"

Wala.

Ang goal ko lang nung bilangan eh tingnan kung lumalamang agad si Mar Roxas. Na yun nga nanalo naman kasi, (naku, nag-type na ako ng apat na dahilan kung bakit pero binura ko...baka may sumama ang loob eh!>>> Ayan...ganyan siguro ako...sa kakaiwas makasakit o maka-offend, kahit wag na lang sabihin ang nasasaloob, hanggang sa masabihang walang opinyon at all!)

So...ano, may nasabi ba akong substantial man lang?

Hay naku, to console myself at para hindi naman ako sobrang nakaka-disillusion sa paningin nyo, siguro may mga opinyon rin ako na di lang naeevoke dahil walang nag-eevoke at, well, hindi ko lang talaga type ipagsabi. Kaya nga sana, gusto kong maging part ng isang grupo, yung think-tank ba, para ganahan naman ako. I don't want to think na bobo ako, hindi naman siguro. I must be hanging out with a crowd that's not conducive to express heavy ideas. Ang kaso kasi, I derive happiness and siguro satisfaction na rin with that crowd kaya I find it hard to deviate. There is nothing with that crowd, iba lang sya doon sa gusto kong tahakin. Susubok ako, at kung hindi ko kayanin, okay lang din.

'Yun lang .

~
May masasabi ka ba? Dito na lang.

...and thank you!

Thanks to everyone who gave me hugs!

*Judie hugs back*

Love you, people! Mwah!

useless

i decided to post my nonsense sentiments in my xanga.

Huh?

I am only half-alive.

This is probably the barometer of difficulty in earning every centavo. Down to the last cent.

I need a hug. The one I want to receive it from...is sadly so near yet so...cold.

Langya, ang drama.

I miss you. Gararrr.

Waaaaahhh!!!!

I was so wrong. Only pictures were in my memory card! Everything else---waahh...nasa phone memory! Waaaahhhh!!!!!!

I brought my cellphone where I bought it last year. They repaired it free of charge, they even said that cellphones like mine are commonly struck by that "hanging-and everything-will-be-gone" disease. My phone's almost a year old and it has been through a lot of hitting the floor (concrete AND carpeted, name it! ) since I had it. So in short, the guy got it done but told me that everything I had in my phone memory will be gone. At first, it will not really sink in but when you're browsing your phone and you find that the things you treasured for a year are really not there anymore...major depression ito! Grabe.

In truth, the pictures that were left in the gallery, parang did not appease me. Kasi all of them have been transferred to my computer na, most of them are even in my photobucket account. Mas sayang yung messages na antagal na sa phone mo. Whew. I have 147 messages in my inbox, mga daily quotes from Kathy, mostly. But what's more important were the ones in separate folders...93 messages from this person that I really admire; 12 from another one I also admire; 64 from Kathy, as in personal ones; 56 from this person that I am just getting to know (syempre may kilig factor pa yun); and 17 from my friends in this yahoo group. Waaahhh!!!!!!

~
For praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.

Thanks to bbc.com for the crying baby images.

My cellphone's busted. Grr. I was on a roll sending (pathetic) Saturday messages when it flashed, "Not enough capacity to perform operation, throw this phone and buy a new one." I think that's what it said. Then I turned it off, as I always do when it flashes that warning thing (even though I deleted most of my messages and most pictures from the gallery -- plus I only have three sound clips apart from those installed so I don't know what's the problem), and when I turned it on again after five minutes, there was the Nokia logo, flashing in front of me forever. I waited for it to work, hoping it was just recharging itself, or whatever it was doing internally. I gave up after finishing one 6-item Figgerits. I turned it off, removed the battery, let it rest for a while while I slept as well. Now, after two hours, I turned it on again, with a prayer, and it's still the same. Omaygas.

For many people, they will just go, "I'll bring it to a cellphone repair shop tomorrow" but I'm really different. I don't know when did it start but I usually am negative about things that have gone wrong. I do not have much faith in "repair people" too. I don't know why. It's like I'm blocking off these hope vibes, and my mind has a big chunk of distrust towards repair people that I think they would never fix any thing that I brought to them and they would just kinda swindle me. Man, I'm so bad. Maybe it's because of those rotten taxi drivers who, no matter how much you exert your right as a paying customer, would just do shit on you. Hay, I don't want to start on this again. As you know, my anger management is still not in place and it gets worse every incident when I get ticked off. I have not just blogged about it but I made people feel miserable with things I said only over this summer. I'm a bad person. The often target of my salbahe-mode were sales staff, delivery people, stupid callers, butthead officemates...no,I don't want to go there as yet. This summer is probably when I'm in my bitchest best, in all of my 23 years and 5 months of life.

Even if I decide to get a new phone, I will not lose everything that I got in my old one because everything there is in my memory card (Judie thinks..yeah, they are there...). Maybe it's the idea of losing the phone that I'm sad about. See, it's been recenlty when I lent it to a friend. When he returned it, it has one dent, one very visible dent, and I really felt bad. I waited for him to say sorry because there's no way that he could not have seen that dent. But he did not. Kapal ng mukha eh. Burara ako sa gamit but I managed to keep that phone dent-free for the longest time. Hay naku, even if I vowed not to lend that person anything again, as he is in the habit of borrowing my digicam whenever he travels, I still feel bad everytime nakikita ko yung dent. Then eto ngayon. Darn. Hindi kaya karma naman ito?

Having said all of that, I would like to say sorry to my friends if I am not able to respond to most of your messages. Hindi ko pala kaya ng walang cellphone. I cannot use my Mom's or the spare one kasi all the numbers are in my memory card nga. I will get tired of texting people na, "Sorry, my fone's busted, i don't know who owns this number. hu u?", and they might get offended din. So sorry...I hope there will be a positive thing about this dilemma tomorrow. I miss my phone.

~
For your praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.

judith, stand up

yes, ma'am.

nakakita po kami ng bagong lunch site dito sa loob ng compound. bumabalik ang alaala sa akin ng aking kabataan noon sa nayong pilipino. alam po naming may mga nakabantay na US marines kahit mukhang park yun kaya in our best behavior kami. nagkukuwentuhan na lang po kami ng nakakatakot hanggang mag-ala una.

kapag po "eat-all-you-can", hindi na po dapat tinatanong kung large servings di ba?

kasing vital na po ng cellphone dito sa opisina ang photocopier. kapag sira siya, hay, malungkot ang buhay.

minsan mahirap pala magkaroon ng officemate na buntis. kahit palatawa sya, may mga bagay na nakakapagpastress sa kanya na gusto mo na lang gawan na paraan kasi concerned ka sa baby. halimbawa pag bigla syang nainis kasi hindi na nya makita yung orasan kasi natakpan yung view nya ng mga kahon ng importanteng dokumento. hay.

tumaas po ang blood pressure ko dahil walang pakundangan akong kumain (at hind nagbigay) ng lechon paksiw kahapon. narealize ko po na masama pala yun lalo na pag nahihilo ka na sa hapon. tsk.

pagkatapos ng meeting, itatago mo yung notepad mo kasi nakakahiya pag may nakakita ng, halimbawa:

- proofread letters thoroughly
(i wanna go home)
- set regular staff meetings to every first wednesday on the month
- no speculations on details about (insert office jargon here)
(she's so old, she badly needs botox)

makinig ng maigi. halimbawa pag nasa ukay-ukay ka, tinanong mo yung saleslady, "magkano mga damit sa side na 'to?" sasagot sya, "depende po." tapos bigla ka sumagot, "ah, seventy. mura ha." naku, kakahiya.

eto pa. kahit gaano kaganda yung enzo angiolini na loafers, kahit halos nagdodrool na ako, hindi ko kayang bilhin pag nalaman kong patay na yung may-ari nun. ewan ko ba. weird ba? namatay na daw kasi. ngii. pagdadasal ko na lang sya.

nanood ako ng la visa loca kasama ang ibang officers namin. kahit taga-translate ako okay lang. kawawa na nga sila, akalain nyo, halos kalahati ng pelikula hindi nila naintindihan. saka ko na lang ikukuwento. pero hats off ako dun sa tanod ng nazareno. riot.

lastly, sisterhood of the traveling pants opened in the US today. i'm not expecting that it will be a smash hit ala-star wars but i hope it does well in the tills. i hope it will be shown here in manila soon. and desperate housewives tonight, 9:10 p.m. on studio 23, i hope i won't forget!

at sa mga dense dyan (taas ang kamay)...

Well im already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting waiting
Well if I was in your position
Id put down all my ammunition
I'd wondered why'd it taken me so long
But Lord knows that I'm not you
And If I was I wouldn't be so cruel
Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do
Must I always be waiting waiting on you?
Must I always be playing playing the fool?
No I cant always be waiting waiting on you
I cant always be playing playing your fool
- Sitting, Waiting, Wishing, Jack Johnson

~

For your praises, violent reactions and everything in between, go here.