taking it easy

i am taking it easy. it's hard to explain if you do not want others to fully understand it in the first place. particularly if it's as personal as an agreement between yourself and...yourself. i realized i am doing things impulsively and while i feel satisfied (i think), i thought of going to the other end of the "metaphorical tunnel" and take each thing easy as it comes. kumbaga, relax lang. alalay lang. i could seize more moments this way.

no more focusing on one thing at a certain moment, virtually forgetting the others. try everything that's there because honestly, this lifetime isn't enough to experience them all. no more trying to make my presence felt all the time just to let others know that "i am there". no more trying to relay everything that i know just so others would know that i do.

in short, i have to learn to be secure with myself. never mind if i become a person on the backseat. never mind if people do not see that i know many things about a lot of stuff (not that i do, i mean, only about specific stuff of interest). what's important is that i am here, i know stuff, and i enjoy them. it's not written anywhere that i have to be transparent as it all the more makes me prone to insecurity, arrogance and envy all at the same time (see, you probably don't see it in me. uhm, do you?).

life is short, as evidenced by tragic events and natural deaths. i could regret it in my grave reviewing everything i did and finding out that i experienced many things by dipping my finger into them... but not finishing practically most of them.

it could be the reason why at the end of the day, i still feel incomplete. it's good i realized it this early.