my work's not that shitty after all

Jacs called me this afternoon to ask if I can be one of the panelists in the annual career seminar thingy of UP Manila for the freshmen. With barely 48 hours to prepare for the event, I was so disoriented when typing my credentials to send to the person-in-charge. Exactly, what have I become after graduation?

I am sure you've read, time and again, how much discontent I feel now. I know that I wouldn't be an inspiration to most freshmen, would I? Do I tell them, "I am a deputy communications supervisor, promoted after barely three months on the job, but I don't have enough interest in what I do now." Or, "I earn more than many out there who has worked for only three years but I don't feel any gratification or fulfillment to say that I deserve every cent I earn."

It was a dilemma until over dinner, when I realized that I have been fussing over something that can only be changed by no other than myself. Indeed, hearing a friend describe how much shit he has to endure every single day, how many brickbats are thrown his way, how much of an asshole he has to be just so he can do his job…it made me feel so petty and irrelevant.

Anyhow, it wouldn't be, in essence, a realization, if I don't start moving my ass and appreciate what I do now. One thing that greatly struck me was when he told me, that he chose to be in the world he's in now, so he has to stand by that choice. It hit me because I kept on ranting about what I do yet I'm still here! As they say, when you don't want to do something, there's always a way out, but here I am, still showing up for work everyday. Such an irony that I fail to accept. And yes, I know it's because I really don't think with my brain, and feel with my heart.

So thanks to my friend for opening a door of realization that has been so alien to me. Despite your eyes betraying you (I know you were really sleepy and so tired), thanks for coming over. It really meant a lot. Now I have an idea what to tell those freshmen on Thursday.

hungry (me) and tired (him). You should have seen the look on our faces when we saw the adobo. I felt Rayan swore never to eat there again. Hehe.

uhm...help?

-help me get over my annoyance with the extreme hype on pinoy big brother. please. i don't watch it but it seems like it's dominated the programming grid of channel 2. admittedly, i like them more than i like channel 7 but that show annoys me big time. ironically, all reality-based shows are always fake. anything na may camera, lalo pa at alam mo na you're being watched, may effort na doon to conceal the real you. mga type lang mag-artista ng iba dun eh.

-i don't need real help with this one but i just need preparation siguro when my supervisor takes her leave to attend to her hubby. i was left to man the unit almost two years ago and i pulled it off naman kahit one month pa yun! now, i dunno why i suddenly felt i can't meet the expectations, to think na mas smooth-sailing na nga ngayon sa office. hay naku.

-pera, pede nyo ko help? hehe. i need help, especially if we are talking about thousands of british pounds and US dollars here. see, i've been in touch with an admissions officer in the university of leeds in london but i can't commit on the online masteral course because 1. i dunno if i can sustain the commitment of 36 months and 2. i dunno if i can sustain it financially, even with the scholarship. tapos yung sa boston naman, medyo sayang kasi several modules lang yung gusto kong i-take. ayoko na ulit mag-take ng anything with half-baked interest, upon my mom's advise. my parents are willing to help me but to a certain extent. if i wanna do something, it's up to me daw na mag-diskarte to make it happen. hmmm. ilang gabi lang siguro ito ng pagsayaw sa brunei. hahaha! that is, kung kelangan nila ng bouncer doon!shite.

-this one is so mababaw but i need the may and august 2005 issues of vanity fair. i'm itching to get my copy. magpapasubscribe na talaga ako soon. i so hate waiting .

- lastly, help me to trust. i tend to think ill of people when i see something that's kinda off tangent, be it with statements or reactions whenever i speak. while someone i look up to said, "it's better to be cautious than to be presumptuous", i want to learn to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. in the end, i just don't want real nice friends telling me, "i hate you because you never believed in me when i told you it's not true at all." sorry it's just a useless word eh. i don't think it really mends. so i need help to understand what's really going on here. ilang buwan na lang ang hinihintay eh, completely yung taong concerned eh aalis na due to something that's stated in the law. tsk.

- help me at nabubuwisit pa rin ako sa pinoy big brother. grr.

tagged by toni and iryn!

7 things that scares you:
1. bloody accidents
2. death
3. ghosts (are they things?)
4. disability
5. losing chances
6. not being able to be a mom
7. war

7 things you like the most:
1. book
2. computer
3. paper
4. pen (in different colors)
5. food
6. book
7. tv

7 important things in your bedroom:
1. bedside lamp
2. bed?
3. tv
4. closet :)
5. clothes in the closet :)
6. my tigger collection
7. my Bible

7 random facts about you:
1. i don't eat too many veggies
2. i'm chubby
3. i don't know how to eat crabs
4. i'm left-handed
5. i eat breakfast in front of the tv
6. i love reading (understatement)
7. i like kris and korina :)

7 things you plan to do before you die:
1. go to europe
2. obtain a PhD
3. have a child
4. meet the pope
5. read 1 million books
6. create a foundation to fight illiteracy
7. marry and love till my last breath the man whom God intended for me

7 things you can do:
1. dance (lest i brag, i do it well)
2. reach my nostril with my tongue (yuckers!)
3. sleep 24 hours straight
4. be awake 24 hours straight
5. wear 3 to 4-inch heels comfortably
6. write well with my right hand even if i'm left-handed
7. love in silence (pa-martir effect)

7 things you can't do:
1. cook
2. drive in a real thoroughfare
3. sing
4. eat okra and ampalaya
5. live without books
6. live without a tv
7. swim well

7 things that attract you to the opposite sex:
1. nose
2. forehead (receding hairline to be exact...my dad has decided to go bald, my brothers are going there...so it's kinda something you can identify with)
3. wit
4. domineering stance (but if it gets too much, humanda ka naman, hahahaha!!!)
5. jawline
6. disposition
7. broad shoulders

7 things you say the most:
1. ha?
2. whaaat?
3. hala!
4. ganon?
5. man!
6. haaaay....
7. the f word, when im really in a bad mood

7 celeb crushes:
1. george clooney
2. harrison ford
3. mar roxas
4. -
5. -
6. -
7. -

~
i don't wanna tag 7 people na, it seems like everyone has taken this survey! :)

my mom.

a hella funny moment while watching the relatives of pinoy big brother contenders saying good stuff about them...

me: mom, pag ako sumali sa ganyan, ano sasabihin mo about me?

(long pause)

mom: isa lang. KEEP OFF THE GRASS!!!

the greatest slob of all (with a tinge of "nerdity")

...i would like to think it's not me. yet. as for the nerd part...that i am, i know. and you see how amusing it is that the sense of being a nerd can be called nerdity. fun. like, "she's doing those scenes in the nude, so she's into nudity." hehe, nonsense. :)

i idled the day watching tv (with occasional naps in between) from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. i've come to devour tv shows as if i haven't watched for a decade. i figured it's about time to stop when i was trying to flip channels and nothing happens---because i was pushing the keys of my cellphone. then my mom literally dragged my ass off the couch and asked me to take a bath.

after a refreshing shower and a sumptuous dinner (to finally seal the record-breaking day of consuming the largest amount of anything edible in a couple of years), i did a little reading and now i am here, typing this post. despite the malfunctioning AC, today signifies one of the best perks of life.

frankly, i am going back to my old reading habits. and i so like it. as i said, since the year started, my reading phase has kinda taken the backseat. my interest waned but i kept on collecting books nevertheless. i guess i grew a fascination for magazines (vanity fair and glamour in particular) that i prefer flipping through them rather than reading a chapter or two. i was obsessed with reading last year, and now i'm happy that i'm feeling the itch again. this came after a supposed phase of exploring other areas i could enjoy, such as sports and trying to have a lovelife. i do not plan to totally scrap those activities because of the "regained reading itch", i'm saying it's just a relief that at last, i have something concrete that i wanna do, in case several of my other activities do not fluorish the way i want it. not all people will agree with me but READING is so fun. it is. i dunno how many readers of this blog enjoy a solace and a fresh glass of juice to read. i do enjoy it, and as dorky as it seems...i love spending time in libraries. well, i use to nap there sometimes when i was in college but in general, i feel good whenever i'm inside one (and heaven when i'm in a bookstore).

i just noticed that i started many books but got uninterested before reaching halfway. examples are jonathan kellerman's flesh and blood (seems okay but i dunno why i just lost interest), anne rice's taltos (coz i have not read lasher, which was given to me eight years ago and i have not read it yet?), the rule of four (a gift from doris...and it's not you of course, darling, i just find it too slow compared to the da vinci code...whose ending i didn't like but it's nevertheless, well, fast-paced. the only thing i kinda like but isn't enough to hold my interest is the way of life in a university. i so miss it.), a heartbreaking work of staggering genius (maybe it's too fresh after reading the hunt sisters book...i dunno), and the devil wears prada (the font of the paperback copy is just too small, it's annoying!). the most recent ones i finished were john le carre's the constant gardener (i guess i blogged about it already) and carlos luis zafon's the shadow of the wind (which is a real great book, i highly recommend it! the intricacies of their lives...oh man. fantastic.) currently, i got back to the young adult genre and am reading libba bray's a great and terrible beauty. it's a bit harry potter-ish, and it's a good read...not too sappy, even if it's set in an all-girls school in london. speaking of harry potter, i may need to flip the pages of HP 1-3 for re-familiarization, and read books 4 & 5. my friend and boxing buddy rachel sent me an e-book of book 6 but i can't start it coz i know i'll be lost. before i get to that, i may start reading the books of asian/oriental authors just to see what other people has been raving about. i got the following with me, and i intend to read them as soon as i could:

Haruki Murakami's SPUTNIK SWEETHEART, Kazuo Ishiguro's WHEN WE WERE ORPHANS and Anchee Min's BECOMING MADAME MAO

and still to patronize asian, much more our very own, i have a copy of f. sionil jose' ermita waiting in my shelf.

at this rate, i am happy and excited but you know, i won't be so plastic to say that i wish that my man would have a tinge of william thacker in him :)

p.s. birthday shoutouts to my niece lai on the 22nd (i sooo miss you, girl!) and lyndsey on the 24th (HK disneyland, even as a post-birthday treat! *hint hint*)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

blag.blag.blag.

i so like to go home and read. i haven't done serious reading for a long time. last night, i added yet again 2 more books and i don't know when i can find decent time to read them. i blame too much caffeine for this. tsk.

well, i'm kinda happy na din coz powerbooks is on sale. my patience paid off coz...tanaaan...

finally, a paperback! i get so inggit every time i see the hardcover version of this. ang mahal eh.

then i dunno what's it called but it became softcover pero big pa din so mahal pa din. at last, after almost six months! rarr!! excited to read it; hope i won't be disappointed.

i'm happy i'm crossing out books from my wish list! i'll be in a "banana-mania" soon enough! :)

this time, i'm waiting for the paperback version of this:

cool.

and oh, Tams, as i told you last night i already got When Chic Hits The Fan. i intend to finish it soon. by then we can go guessing the blind items. harhar! :)

anyone heard of Jessica Cutler? maybe you would be more familiar with her blog (detailing her exploits on the Hill!) and now, her book titled The Washingtonienne. i saw a copy last night. well, i don't have plans of buying it, it's just hype. transcripts and excerpts from her blog are everywhere. it's just that i feel so awkward now dealing with Sen. DeWine's office. hehe.

blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah...

go try our native pinoy tapa and mango crepe after. it's so yum. hahaha.

we're having mexican for lunch! italian abstinence huh?

Senator Mar Roxas, you're such a slavedriver! give your men their well-deserved break!!! hahahaha!!! even with your improved skin tone, i still don't understand why you...never mind :)

yipee. flautas, here i come :)

honestly

Nakakasawa na magpaka-demure sa mga blog posts. Hay. Kaya magpakatotoo na tayo.

Honestly, what's on your mind?
I have to find a part-time job, preferably as a research assistant. It's the safest and most interesting place for me to be, if ever there is one available. Kung papalitan ang tanong ng "who", syempre, ang sagot ko, "him". Nuxx.

Honestly, who are you chatting online with?
I'm not logged in

Honestly, what is it that you REALLY should be doing right now?
Watch Will & Grace until makatulog kasi may pasok na naman bukas

Honestly, have you brushed your teeth today?
Naman. Oo naman.

Honestly, are you a good friend?
I would like to think so.

Honestly, do you really think going to school is all that important?
Yes. At ngayon ko lang narealize yan...'honestly'.

Honestly, what did you dream about last night?
I forgot. I don't remember if i dreamt something at all. Sarap ng tulog ko eh

Honestly, what are your dreams about mostly?
I'm being chased by someone tapos pag malapit na sya, since dream ko yun, pwede kong sabihin/gawin na, "ulit uli" para parang balik ulit sa square one . at lately, nagtatravel sakay ng kung anu-anong vehicle. What's surprising is that alam ko kung saan ko pupunta tapos paggising ko, it turned out hindi ko pala alam yung mga place na yun.

Honestly, what are you so happy about right now?
Yung remnants ng happiness ko simula nung Thursday eh medyo pwede na but i'm not really so happy right now. So-so lang.

Honestly, what are you so sad about right now?
Have not heard from someone na for sure may valid reason naman... na sa kabilang banda ang nakakaloka doon eh wala naman ako karapatang malungkot kung hindi sya nagpaparamdam...assuming na everything is okay sa kanya. Whew mabuti na lang tlaga ang tagalog na mga panghalip ay walang katumbas sa ingles ng "he" o "she". Ayos.

Honestly, how old are you now?
23 going on 35

Honestly, who are you missing?
My niece Lai, my daughter "Bernice Simone", Bam Cavizo, Rayan Marty

Honestly, have you ever stolen something?
Katuwaan lang, isang knife sa Kenny Rogers nung highschool. At isang magazine sa library kasi paborito ko yung nasa cover (clue: Asiaweek yung magazine, mabuti napirmahan yung clearance ko---ibig sabihin walang nakaalam, hehe)

Honestly, what song are you listening to right now?
Ano ba itong kanta ng Hale?

Honestly, who do you want to meet at this very moment?
Si Mar Roxas ulit, si Noynoy Aquino, si Erin Tañada, atsaka si Terry Pratchett

Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
No I don't. I have my bouts of anger pero hindi sa tao mismo.

Honestly, who do you wanna hug right now?
Alam ni Eiselle, Sandy at Katrina kung sino.

Honestly, are you bored?
Tagal na.

~
Tsk. Yun lang?

By the way, I have to confess that I have devoted a whole folder about Mar Roxas in my personal pc drive. Napansin ko ang dami na palang laman na pics, articles and what have yous matapos akong magse-save na naman ng ibang pics galing sa Senate website gallery. I'm a fan. Hahaha. Pati nga pictures ng nanay nya. Hehe. Sabi ni Rayan, if you call his mom by her initials, ibig sabihin, business-like lang ang relationship ninyo. Kaya tama pala na Tita Judy ang tawag ko sa kanya . Pati nga snapshot ng son ni Mar meron na pala ako. Naks, A-1 stalker na ba ako?! Di naman. Blame the power of internet's reach, dito ko lang lahat nakuha yon ha! At any rate, matagal ng alam ni Mar na pinaubaya ko na sya kay Korina. Harharharhar!

Hay. Ayoko na, ayoko na, ayoko na, ayoko na, ayoko na. Ang agang crossroads nito. Dapat nag-eenjoy pa lang ako kasi 23 pa lang ako. Man.

Friend, ang hirap nga nung sinasabi mong mag-focus. Tsk.

i tried boxing! :)

before anything else, i did not realize how funny it was that i got to meet with siblings for two different dates (let's just connote it as wholesomely as possible). i had lunch with rayan then after office i had my first ever boxing trial with his sister, rachel. what's funnier was i wore my bewitching capiz shirt (lovingly sent by my friend kathy) while training. nakakaaliw di ba?

anyhoo, it's as if i was run over by a hundred horses. my body aches like hell. but as first times in any physical workout, i know this is bound to happen. but i'm definitely coming back.

the newly-opened elorde gym in makati was smaller than i thought. they have courteous and very patient trainers though. when we went last night, we outnumbered the trainers so there was no real one-on-one workout for the hour-and-a-half duration. it worked for me naman coz the times my trainer went to see other people, i got to rest longer. hindi ko kaya yung ilang seconds lang tapos round na ulit, please. maybe in the next sessions i can get used to it. i used to be kinda edgy before it started but it all went away when all of us were busy doing our own thing. at least, apart from my trainer, ako lang tlaga nakakakita ng madalas that i look like a total idiot out there, hehe. as in total dweeb kasi tlaga. pati coordination ng paa at arms, it's as if i was two different people. i can really see my trainer's eyes asking me, "what the hell are you doing?" hahaha! the warm-up exercises were even more difficult than the jab-jab-jab-forward-backward thing. i really had a lot of dweeby movements but i don't care. maybe not as much as the hurt i feel now but i know this will pass. hay, i can't tell more na. if you wanna try it, go. the gym is along tordesillas st. i heard rachel say to the cab driver it's like on or near the makati sports club.

to my dear online buddy tink, i loved it! my body didn't though! but i'll keep on going. i'm gonna send before and after pics! hahaha!!! weird! but thanks for the encouragement, i'm off to buy my own handwrap soon! i just hope merong orange, and orange gloves too! hehe! para tiggerific :)

thanks to rachel too for inviting me. i look forward to more work, ken, lovelife, diet and whatever conversations, pati paglalakad sa tordesillas st. habang malakas ang ulan with colorful and dysfunctional umbrellas, hanggang paghihintay ng ride sa pasong tamo (chino roces na pala sya ngayon, hehe). i so had fun.

i just have to say that yesterday was extra special. bear with me, it's one of those days when i get all happy but the cynic that i am, i know some things are not really meant to fluorish anyway. i hope, like my muscle pains, this passes too. you know why? i'm really a chicken when it comes taking risks.

the lunch

finally.

nakakain na ako sa senate lounge.

hindi masarap ang food, sayang yung libre ng kaibigan ko.

i just had a sudden thought. gusto ko na ngayon magtrabaho sa senado. basta syempre yung boss, even if he/she drives you nuts, dapat nakakabigay ng affirmation at satisfaction sa mga trabahong tumulo na luha, pawis, sipon, at laway mo para lang matapos.

rayan, maybe we really should trade places for a month at least. i guess namesmerize lang ako with the change in scenario but you can go here and do consular work while i do legislative and other effing tasks a senatorial staff is doing. hehe. siguro pinaka-naaliw ako nung nakakita ako ng maraming members media. hahaha, baliw.

masayang masaya lang ako tlaga. hmm. pero di ako nakahirit masyado kanina. ang dami ko pa namang naisip na sabihin, doon pa lang sa bahaging nakita ko yung chicken cordon bleu. tsk.

~
yadda yadda yadda...

lss:
The wonderful thing it does
Because, because
I am the wizard of ooh's and ah's and fa-la-la's
Yeah the Mister A to Z
They say I'm all about the wordplay
- Wordplay, Jason Mraz

midweek crisis

eto na naman ako, wala sa mood magtrabaho. weeh, what's new navy blue, lagi naman ako ganito. ewan ko nga tlaga hanggang ngayon kung bakit eh.

kagabi nag-commence na ang bowling tournament namin. kasama ako ulit, at dakilang cheerer at photographer lang ako. sabi nga nag-"lamiyerda" lang kami nung duration ng 3-set game. that's what you get pag feeling mo nasa kanal sa gilid ng alley ang mga pins at wala sa dulo. ang uniform din namin ang daming may ayaw. ewan ko ba kasi sino ang nag-suggest na maroon ang color ng team namin eh. dumating yung mga shirts hindi naman maroon tlaga na parang sa UP...kulay bagoong! tapos joke nga nila lagyan mo lang ng gold cord, mukha na kaming nazareno (tabi-tabi po...). nagpakita lang kami sa simula ng bawat game, tapos lumabas kami, kumain ng nachos, pinanood ng ilang beses ang trailer ng The Great Raid, ogled women and men alike, bumili ng flash cards at stapler, pati ng lock sa pinto hanggang sa natapos na ang game 1. para pa kaming naka-break na factory workers kasi pare-pareho kami ng shirt at ang pinakatodo eh pareho kami ng uniform ng mga nagtatarabaho sa Ace Hardware kung saan ni E binili yung lock.

at grabe napansin ko nung nakasubok ako ng halos one week na nagwo-workout eh lalo ata akong tumaba. ewan ko ba, ang hina kasi ng resistance ko sa tulog at pagkain eh. nag-yoga na ako (nahaw bend, touch your right bett, and down...) , nag-dance aero ("dayagonal puuuussss"..."leeseeeeeen"... dowbol squaaaat..."), at katakot-takot na statio bike at treadmill na kung tunay na nilakad at pinedal ko eh nasa hungary na siguro ako ngayon. bukas, sasama naman ako mag-boxing sa makati. tapos yung bowling nga na isang metro na yung difference sa sukat ng kaliwa at kanang braso ko eh hindi pa din ako makatira ng maayos. take note ha, sa pagod eh hindi na rin ako halos makakain. aba't akalain nyong ngayon ko pa nararamdaman na i'm at my heaviest best. bad treeep, psychological stress ata talaga ito.

pero nabuhay ang dugo ko sa mga quotable quotes na ito:

(may lunch date kasi sina Eiselle and company kay Rayan sa senate, well kasama din ako, kaya humirit si Kats ng...)
"kailangang mahimas ni mar roxas ang tummy ko para tumalino naman ang anak ko!"

(umappear ang isang barong-clad na lalaki sa bowling game kagabi, nagpa-impress ata sa bossing namin...)
wow, ikaw ba ang may pinakamalaking highest score?

eto mga tanong tanong na lang:

1. Latest CD: yung bili talaga? album pa ni Josh Groban, yung dati pa

2. Have you ever faked a phone conversation?: nung bata pa ako. kasi para hindi ako mapahiya na di ko nakausap yung kaklase kong si joanna. tinanong ako ng uncle ko kung nakausap ko na daw, sabi ko oo at uuwi na ako. natawa yung uncle ko kasi hawak nya yung kabilang dulo ng cord ng telepono. mga grade 3 ako nyan. hahahahaha....

3. Best-designed website?: medyo crowded sya pero okay sa akin yung kay Hanagirl

4. Left hand or Right hand?: left

5. Latest Song Craze: just the girl ng click five, hehehe

6. LaSt Song Syndrome: every now and then ng earth, wind and fire

7. Favorite Song: can't let go ni michael macdonald/david pack

8. Do You Pluck your eyebrows?: nah, virgin forest ang eyebrows ko

9. What’s your favorite candy/junk food?: lala fish crackers, ruffles with ridges

10.Favorite TV show?: reruns ng friends!

11.Chore You Hate?: cooking and pressing

12.Favorite Actor?: harrison ford

13. Instrument you play?: i'm a dweeb, remember?

14. Phobias?: fire, earthquake, death, being loved by someone tapos ayaw na pala nya bigla

15. Vegetables you hate to Eat?: okra, eggplant (vegetable ba ito?)

16. Quote you like?: "wag kang magmaganda kung kamukha naman kita"-- got that from one of kampanerang kuba's two sisters nung nasa game ka na ba sila :)

17. How much money is in your wallet?: P450 :)

18. What’s your Mood?: lazy

19. Question you want to ask?: "do you like me?"

20. Where do you want to go for a vacation?: phuket...now!

21. What did you do last night?: sleep?

22. Favorite Perfume?: pink by victoria secret // tropical punch by escada

23. Which superhero are you?: i don't wanna be a superhero

24. What is so gay? no comment

25. Second Question you want to ask?: "can i take a loooong break?"

26. Subject you hated in High School?: none. i loved them but some of them didn't love me back

27. What is the most disgusting thing you ever had to do?: yay, everytime i had to use the restroom na madumi, usually sa mga malls, pwera sa greenbelt at gateway

28. What have you lost that you most like to retrieve?: my passion for life

29. Can you twist your tounge upside down?: yes!

30. Third Question you want to ask?: "will you give me a baby?" bwahahahaha!!!

pagkakaiba daw ng mayaman sa mahirap

Kung mayaman ka, meron kang "allergy";
Kung mahirap ka, ang tawag dyan ay "galis" o "bakokang".

Sa mayaman, "nervous breakdown" dahil sa "tension and stress";
Sa mahirap, "sira ang ulo".

Sa mayamang "malikot ang kamay" ang tawag ay "kleptomaniac";
Sa mahirap, ang tawag ay "magnanakaw" o "kawatan".

Pag mayaman ka, you're "eccentric";
Kung mahirap ka, "may toyo ka sa ulo" o "may topak" o "may sayad".

Kung mayaman ka at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay may "migraine";
Kung mahirap ka naman at sumakit ang ulo mo, ikaw ay "nalipasan ng gutom".

Kung mayaman ka, you are referred to as someone who is "scoliotic";
Pero kung mahirap ka, ikaw ay "kuba".

Kung ang senorita mo ay maitim, ang tawag ay "morena" o "kayumanggi";
Pero kung isa kang domestic na maitim, ikaw ay "ita" o "negrita" o "baluga".

Kung nasa high society ka, you are called "slender" o balingkinitan";
Kung mahirap ka lang, you are plainly called "payatot" o "patpatin" o"ting-ting".

Kung nasa high society ka pa rin at ikaw ay maliit, ang tawag sa iyo ay"petite";
Kung mahirap ka lang, ikaw ay "pandak" o "bansot" o "unano" o "jabbar".

Kung socialite ka, ikaw ay "pleasingly plump";
Kapag mahirap ka at ika'y "mataba", "tabatsoy" o "lumba-lumba", pag minamalas ka, "baboy".

Kung well-off ka, at date ka rito, date ka roon, ang tawag sa iyo ay "game";
Kung mahirap ka ikaw ay "pakawala".

Kung mayamang alembong ka ang tawag sa iyo ay "liberated";
Pero kung isa kang dukha ang tawag sa iyo "malandi".

Kung may pera ka ang tawag sa iyo "single parent";
Pero kung wala kang trabaho ang tawag sa iyo "disgrasyada".

Health conscious ang tawag sa mayayamang puro gulay ang kinakain;
Habang kakaawa ang mahirap na kumakain ng ganito.

Sa exclusive school, "assertive" ang mga batang sumasagot sa mga guro;
Pero pag ang mga mahihirap na bata ang sumasagot sa mga guro, ang tawag sa kanila ay "walang hiya".

Ang mayamang tumatanda, "are graduating gracefully into senior citizenhood";
Ang mga mahihirap ay "gumugurang".

Ang anak ng mayaman ay "slow learner";
Ang anak ng mahirap ay "bobo" o "gunggong".

Kung mayaman ka at marami kang kumain, you flatter your host who says,"masarap kang kumain and I like you, you do justice to my cooking";
Kung ghastly peasant ka eating the same amount in the same house, your host will say to himself na ikaw ay "patay-gutom" o "hampaslupa" o "masiba".

Kung boss ka at binabasa mo ito sa PC mo, "okay lang";
Pero kung ikaw ay hamak na empleyado lamang, ikaw ay "nagbubulakbol".

juday and ryan

i confess: kinikilig ako sa kanilang dalawa! hahahaha!!!

in truth, i rarely get kilig with pairs, be it on screen or otherwise. okay lang, say, two people display affection for each other. i can only remember several pairs that i got kilig, and i have to say hindi lang naman ako ang nag-iisang kinikilig ano! so it must be really something to be giddy about. when i was young(er), i liked richard gomez and dawn zulueta. maybe that time, i was trying to build my vision of what a perfect couple must be, and what a great pair they made di ba? they're both good-looking, parang god and goddess talaga. then after almost a decade, eto si mar roxas at korina sanchez naman, hehe! see, it's like having a glimmer of hope na even if you reach middle age, pwede ka pa pala kiligin. i guess their respective images brought kilig to the mystery that surround them; and despite people saying that their relationship is all for show, based on what i saw personally, read, and watched, i can say that mar roxas loves korina more than korina loves mar. opinion ko lang naman. anyway, i digress...

lately, judy ann (honestly, all this time i thought it's spelled 'judy anne') and ryan have been hogging entertainment pages and showbiz-oriented shows because of their relationship. i am not really super fascinated but it's something good to see, i dunno why. see, i like ryan since i saw him as a lanky penshoppe model a decade ago along with paolo bediones, then as someone who had the same college course as mine (UP manila and la salle are the only universities offering the course), but i never got to follow what he did with his career. lalo pa kay juday but obviously she's been around forever! and even because of my name, i vividly remember earning the moniker 'ula, batang gubat' after a summer of frolicking in the water and getting so negra, kasi magkamukha daw kami nung bata ako (well, Ula era pa nya noon).

many say that they're an unlikely couple kasi ryan is your typical sosyal, well-bred guy while judy ann is a jologs, baduy icon. hasty observers would easily say that, aminin!!! pero come to think of it, how much do we know of judy ann and ryan? ang mean ng ganun di ba? for someone who can also be judgmental and tactless, i didn't see the juday-ryan affair that way. in fact, na-happy pa ako that they're together. let me tell you, hindi ako nakapanood ever ng krystala ha, yung mga pa-peek lang kasi nanonood yung housemates mo pero di ko tlaga nasundan kung bagay ba sila or what. napansin ko lang lately.

what i just want to say is that i'm amused kasi they really look good together. they may even bring out the best in each other, or the side that we have not seen. in a way, yung image ni juday na parang very restrained ng manager nya at ng family nya helped her this time because she remained mysterious at hindi tulad nung ibang artista in her league na...uhm, wag na nga. with regard to the fusion of two different social entities, well, i don't see a problem there. yung iba kasi they think, "ang baduy ni juday for him!" pero think about it, do we really know what constitutes baduy in the first place? and given the "pop cultural" explanation of what it is, given na baduy si judy ann..man, who earns lotsa bucks because of it? admittedly, yung kinikita ni judy ann in a commercial na nag-effort lang sya ng ilang araw eh hindi ko kikitain in a year. for all we know, some of us can't and won't even afford to buy the same stuff she has. she's even richer than ryan himself :) kaya wala tayong karapatang magmaganda at manghusga. hahahaha!!!!

suffice it to say, i like seeing them lately, or just like when ryan's MUP co-hosts tease him every morning. maybe not as much as i like, say, mar and korina, or mar and I (hehe), but still, it's something good to watch and hear, kesa naman mga news items ng mga nagpapaka-kontrobersyal na boldies habang wala pang movie offers. wish ko lang wag ng mag-meddle big time yung manager ni juday. panira. hahahaha!!!! opinion lang naman :).

ten big ones
*yes, the same title as janet evanovich's tenth installment in the stephanie plum series :)

1st monthsary na ni apple in a few days, well, as mrs. harvey. i'm so happy for her. happiness radiates whenever i see her. for someone who rarely opens up about the goings-on in her life, i can see that she's very proud when greeted about her current status.

it was a rather disappointing experience eating at cafe milano for the 2nd time. the pre-ordering scheme did not work. i was tempted to ask if the one who took the orders wrote it on air. not only we had to wait, they kept on giving us the wrong orders. however, the food's fantastic (despite the "less creamier" penne al pesto). the formaggi pizza was superb.

3 discs to go and i'm done with meteor rain. finally, i can give it back to rachel.

it's our bowling season in 4 days. i signed up again for the uniform. hehe. i'll go practice on monday though, for posterity sake. :)

kats is on her 5th month of pregnancy. it must be so weird for me looking at her tummy when i get the chance. it's just amazing that inside that round bulge beneath her blouse is a human being. she told me she feels it moving sometimes. despite the discomfort and the apparent change in your life after bringing another human being in this world, i still want to have a baby. *sigh*

joy told me that erwin and her celebrated their 6th month together. it's been six months pala. i have to say that erwin really did a lot to joy and i will not expound on it so as not to spark discussion. i do not know much about what they've done for half a year but suffice it to say, i'm happy that they are happy. i kid joy sometimes that we are both senatorial partners. see, erwin looks like kiko pangilinan at first glance...in fact, when we went to this comedy bar where the sharon cuneta impersonator, without any provocation from any of us, noticed and called him, "Kiko". and no need to tell why i said i am a senatorial partner. hehe.

i did not know that powerboks in robinson's manila opened 7 days ago! syempre na-disorient na naman ako, as i always do when i step into any bookshop. the place is smaller than most branches, even than the one in glorietta. but who cares? they sell books! and i got to submit my powercard application as well. and i guess i have to tell you that since it's a payday when i dropped by, i will definitely have budget meals next week because i once again splurged, big time.

multiply 8 by 18...that's my ideal body weight for my height. and i am almost 20 pounds overweight. ohshite.

no time to meet oskee because brent will open their classes on the 9th daw. he's only a couple of years older but priorities really do change when you have children already.

i left powerbooks at 10 past six. that's an hour spent roaming the small store, and buying books again. a little guilt there but it can't top the satisfaction. who cares? it's my money. anyway, i finally have my own haruki murakami book. i bought sputnik sweetheart. i decided to skip my own copy of midnight's children because someone sent me an e-book (but i plan to buy it soon too) and the authorized biography of madeleine albright. books, books! i so love them. no books vs. no boyfriend, ill definitely can live with the latter.

I am depressed. Confirmed. Two thoughts hovering around this depression:

1. When you can't say directly that you like doing something, then you don't like it at all. No middle grounds here, either you like it or you don't. Ergo, I don't.

2. It's understandable that you don't like doing something; what's worse here is when you don't know what you want to do either.

Yes, this is work-related. Always been. My supposed sadness over being single is so shallow, you know. But like some relationships, you stay because you don't know if you will be able to find one as *insert outstanding quality*.

~
P.S. I'm looking for a second-hand video cassette recorder, number of heads not important. Tag me if you want to throw yours away or know someone who plans to. Willing to pay up to P2,500 (second-hand price sa ebay!).