Thursday, April 21

liberation?

i had my very first drastic haircut in my 23 years of life.

my mom and i have this silent rift lately, quite usual because of her erratic mood swings due to menopause (she admits it and she can't seem to help it), so i just sent her a text that goes, "pauwi na ako. sorry. don't kill me pag nakita mo ako later." of course, she wouldn't think that i am pregnant or i am bringing home a guy or anything along that line. she knows i am not that courageous yet. i think upon reading the text she knows i had my hair cut.

i only told the hairdresser that i wanted only 5-6 inches cut from my uber long hair (think butt-length when it's curly...). since it is...rather, was (*teary-eyed*) curly, he (she?) overestimated the length. when i asked him to "stretch" the first batch of hair that has fallen on the floor, they were more than 6 inches, believe me. i saw him literally become pale and apologetic. part of me wanted to strangle him and make a scene, but then again, it cannot be undone. unless i want to sport an odd hair length, i could have insisted that he blowdry my hair right there and then so i can leave. but i did not. there's the rebellious side of me that whispered it's okay.

to make the long story short, the "plan" of a bra-line length, as the term goes, is now only a bit below the shoulders. and that is now that the blowdry is still in effect. when it curls up a little later tonight, gee, i dunno. but what can i do?

i do not feel total liberation from whatever it is that i want to be free from. i don't know what hit me that i got on the nearest salon after my reading time. i guess i just have to face the consequences of this. my hair is just a bit buhaghag on the sides but when i just woke up, i find its curls cute, they're like cooked pancit canton, hehe. after bathing, the curls are really natural, not the frizzy type a la floor mop. i guess i just have to miss them for now. i know they will grow soon enough. it's like seeing my dogs go before. in a few weeks, i've accepted that they're gone. much more with this..in a few months, it could be back on its old length.

now, the only thing i have to prepare for is when my dad returns in two weeks time. he, who is so strongly against cutting my hair since i was born. i guess i have my sister on my side on this but knowing my dad, nah.

see...a 23-year old worrying over a haircut! how mature can that get?! this growing fear would be tantamount to "dad, i'm pregnant" for other girls...ladies my age!

to my hair, i'll miss you. but i know you will grow back soon. let me just see what your absence can make in my life. i brought you home, didn't i? (yes, i did, which elicited laughs from all the people in the salon. like, who would ever request that all the hairs on the floor ("basta kulot, kay ma'am yun") be put in a plastic so i can take them home? only i can do that nowadays, eh?)

my next goal is to lose a few pounds. i am off to my first ever figure consultation, hopefully tomorrow (uhm, it's for free...hehe..the perks of where i'm working).

lai, tell me what you think about this.

ANG IKLI NA NG BUHOK KO. SYET.

'Coz I am hopeful, yes I am, hopeful for today
Take this music and use it
Let it take you away
Let's be hopeful (hopeful), He'll make a way
I know, it ain't easy
Let's be hopeful
- Hope (Twista)